Obama Thinks NFL Is Lame, I Agree!!!

Happy Humpy Day!  I really wasn't planning on putting up a post today but I came across a story that I am sure most of you if not all of you have seen already.  The Goodell Mafia has done it again in the NFL, bungling things and pretending that they care…and that my friends is something worth sharing!!  

So the story goes a little something like this - the Detroit Lions are beating the Dallas Cowboys in the 4th quarter of Sunday's second game of the day.  The Lions were in a tough spot on third down and as the play developed quarterback Matthew Stafford tried to hit his receiver down field for a first down which would have run more time off of the clock BUT as the ball made it's way to it's intended target the defender for the Cowboys more or less ran into the receiver and NEVER turned his head around towards the ball, which by the way is the easiest way to register a slam dunk call of pass interference on the defense.  The official in the best position to make this call throws his yellow handkerchief on the field and signals for pass interference.  The referee debates it while everyone waits for the call when low and behold the flag is picked up by the official put back in his pocket and no foul is awarded to the Lions.  They don't pick up the first down, punt the ball to Dallas, Dallas goes down the field scores and wins the game.  Dallas fans rejoice while the rest of the country (now instant Lions fans) curse the refs, moon, stars, sun and especially the NFL and it's elitist bull crap and know this whole thing is fixed (which it is). Pictured below, ex-bunk mates at Camp Turdington - (Left to right) some dude, Jones and Christie and some jackass behind Christie.

But hey, one can only be salty for so long after a bad loss...and then the NFL goes ahead and issues a statement essentially saying that they got the call wrong, go pound sand and buy our merchandise at www.evilempirethugs.com.  This statement was so stupid to make and proved nothing but their own ineptitude that President Obama weighed in on it, "If I was a Lions fan I'd be pretty aggravated".  In politically correct linguistics that means (to me at least) the POTUS is fed up with the NFL and how miserable they are at managing anything.  Look everyone makes mistakes but the NFL has just screwed so much lately that I have no sympathy for them.

And in honor of Humpy Day...how about this hump? - 

HAPPY WATCHING!!! 

2014 Gobble Wobble Turkey Awards!

Welcome to the best weekend of the year!!

On Thanksgiving FOX, CBS and NBC all have some stupid version of the game's MVP and relate it to Thanksgiving or turkey.  John Madden used to dole out a six legged turkey which was just gross.  FOX named LeSean McCoy the game's Galloping Gobbler (or something along those lines) yesterday.  SO, I am going to give out the Gobble Wobble Turkey Awards to the biggest turkey on the field for each of the three games.  Essentially the opposite of the best player…commonly referred to as the worst.

We just witnessed some really good NFL action in yesterday's high scoring affair where the Detroit Lions made a sick comeback over the Chicago Cutlers.  At one point the Lions were down 14-3 only to end up winning 34-17.  Fantasy dreams were made for owners of Megatron (finally) and a few other notables (Joique Bell and Martellus Bennett).  In the land of the turkeys…Jay Cutler is the King Bird and winner of the Gobble Wobble Turkey Award!  He started out hot and then, well then he did a Cutler face plant with a QB Rating of 76.7 and 2 INTs…he did have 2 first quarter TDs and then nothing.

Next came the highly anticipated Philly Eagles versus the Dallas Cowboys.  NFC East Dream match up with tons of playoff implications and bad blood.  Of course they were playing in Dallas (it is Thanksgiving), and that stadium really does make me want to visit it…if only to punch Jerry Jones in the gut.  The game was pretty much over before the half and really only got worse as time wore on.  Sanchez threw for over 200 yards and 2 total TDs…oh boy, let the Jets really do suck comments flow because yeah, Jets Nation didn't already know that they suck.  This game's turkey has to be Romo, good ol' Tony Romo.  He never lets you down…big stage, playoffs on the line and lays an egg.  Turkeys lay eggs, right?  It just all adds up.  Romo finished off the day throwing for under 200 yards, 2 INTs and a QB Rating of 53.7 much to the chagrin of his fantasy owners and Cowboys fans around the globe.  Gobble Wobble Tony!

The Thursday night tilt had the Seattle Seahawks squaring off against the 49ers of San Francisco in SF.  These two teams have been battling each other at the top of the NFC West division for the past two seasons, but 2014 has found a renewed Arizona Cardinals team slotted in the number one spot with both SEA and SF looking up at them…hopefully Arizona's not wearing a kilt or things could get awkward.  Be that as it may, this was another game with massive playoff implications and above all bragging rights in the hotly contested division.  

Both teams play very solid defense amongst the best teams in the league.  Their offenses can at time be high powered and at other times…a bit lacking for teams so highly regarded.  Last night, pretty much summed that up.  The final score had SEA beating SF 19-3.  SF couldn't move the ball at all attesting to the stout SEA defense and San Fran's up and down offensive output.  SF was outplayed from all angles of this match up and it showed.  Therefore, as bestower of the Gobble Wobble Turkey Award…(drum roll) it is with great pleasure that I honor the entire San Francisco 49ers team with the final Gobble Wobble Turkey Award for 2014!!

Congratulations to all who tried their best/or least to win this award!!  Better luck next year to the losers.

HAPPY WATCHING!!!

A Visit To The US Open & Jerry Jones Gets Douchier!!

Breaking News! Live Sports are Better Sports!!!

Happy Thursday Everyone!  After spending all of Wednesday meticulously acquiring information for this distribution channel it is with great excitement that I can bring you some insight into the excitement of the US Open currently going on now in sunny Flushing Meadows, Queens (right next to The Temple "Citi Field").  While Anna K (pictured above is long out of pro tennis, it just seemed appropriate.  The USTA complex in Queens is a real beauty and I highly recommend checking it out for yourself one day…or even today or tomorrow - the tourney runs until September 9th with the Mens Singles Finals match.  The first bunch of days (when there are the most matches) are broken down into morning (11AM start) and a night (7PM start) sessions.  I attended the night session last night, but with the insane amount of tennis going on during the morning sessions it really would be the most bang for your buck!  And…I got back to Jersey City at 1AM, on a Wednesday…well I guess it was technically Thursday at that point. 

It is a veritable bonanza for the senses!  The entrance walkway is lined with American flags and dotted with workers there who will take your picture so you can avoid that awkward selfie face -

As you walk around the areas in between the almost 20 tennis courts there are sponsored food, booze and apparel stalls everywhere.  They have a Grey Goose signature drinks stand - the big one was the Grey Goose Honey Deuce served in a commemorative mug, this gargantuan Ralph Lauren Polo tennis apparel thing, a Pat LaFreida burger stand (purveyors of fine meats in the good old NY/NJ area) and my favorite - The Heineken House a huge raised bar with flat screens, plenty of elbow room and Adirondack chairs so you can kick it while sipping ice cold Heineken from their many taps.  It's elevated perch allows you so see into 3 of the tennis courts for a nice aerial view.

And This!

The two main matches in Arthur Ashe Stadium were highlighted by a victory for Venus Williams (a crowd fave there for many years) and Stan Wawrinka (ranked #3 in this tournament).  Both won easily and due to a Maria Sharapova marathon match beforehand, did not end until around midnight. Photos below - (View of some of the other courts as you make your way up and into Ashe Stadium. Second one is Wawrinka and Belucci battling it out)

All in all a great night…that is except for the fact that I had to get on the 7 TRAIN!!  It was crowded, hot and smelled like foot going there, and was only slightly better on the way back.  BUT it was only out done by a stank ride on the steamy PATH…it smelled like what I imaged the set of Borat smelled like…donkey and despair.  But anyways, let's move on before I say something I will regret that you heard.

Jerry Jones Confirms The Cowboys Are More About Flash Than Championships!!

Ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Jones makes headlines again for something other than winning playoff games.  The other day Jones gloated in the fact that his team is the "Glitz and Glamour" of the NFL.  They recently became the only NFL team with an official luxury watch and I think an official private jet company.  Forbes recently named them the richest (worth the most) franchise in American sports.  Their net worth dwarfs that of pretty much all NHL and NBA teams, a few baseball teams are around their level and there are 2 to 3 football teams nipping at their heals (Giants, 'Skins, etc). AND as Jerry Jones the businessman, this is extremely impressive.  He is a turd but even I will give him credit for turning an already commercially successful into a money generating juggernaut.  It is even more impressive considering they have consistently underachieved the past decade or so.  Spending much and winning some…but not enough.

That about wraps it up for today!  Enjoy your Thursday nights for tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!

Happy Watching!!
(spooning grilled cheese below)

Hide Your Daughters, Jerry Jones is On The Prowl

Oh Jerry, Where Art Thou? - Apparently You've Been Getting After It!!

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has been making the front page of all of the most reputable newspapers today (yes, the NY Post is semi-reputable, well at least when it comes to this line of journalism).  It seems Good Ol' Jer has been getting cozy with some very young ladies who don't appear to be Mrs. Jones…at least not from this angle

The story gets majority funkier as it comes to light that the photo collection sent to the press was accompanied by a lengthy document written by a "Cowboys and Dallas Mavericks groupie" by the name of Frank Hoover.  He claims to be a savior sent by God to rescue Jerry Jones from his "ways" and that he should give his billions to the poor and live amongst the impoverished….blah, bleh, blah, blah…we have seen this happen all too much lately.  I think every celebrity gets a stalker at some point in their careers.  BUT the one is kinda funny in that it is in tandem with these awesome JJ photos.  The women in the pics look really into whatever they were doing/planning to do.  Not like you could say Jerry got photo bombed.  

Well hey, on the bright side the Cowboys have been 8-8 since G Dubs was Prez and it doesn't look like this year is going to be any different…well maybe this time around Jerry will be lambasted for his womanizing as opposed to that whole Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson thing from a few years back.  Seriously, Tony needs someone else to take the heat for underachieving for once!  It's not all his fault.  Well, maybe that one time…with the failed hold for that punt…and the late game INTs…but whatever, good luck Jerry - you're a billionaire this type of thing always works out for you guys. It's fine…I guess…not really, but good luck nonetheless.  

Happy Watching!!

It's Saturday!! Let's Slow Things Down A Bit (insert weekend here)

Today is Saturday, time to pump the brakes a bit

I feel like it is time that we all just take a step back and let the week's events wash over us like a warm, soft wave of crystal clear blue water...just take it all in.  The smelly lady on the train, plane, bus or carpool (did not know that it was a compound word) that you may be involved in is behind you.  That really and I mean really awful lunch that you had to settle for on Tuesday or maybe Wednesday because you were tied up with something (but really you were just being lazy, I mean really, really lazy) that gave you that pinching feeling in your lower intestines...it happened, no one wants to rehash it, we are moving on.

Enough about the week, for the weekend (as the girl's sock so tastefully stated) has arrived!!  Except for those who work on weekends, which I assume you probably have 1 day or hopefully 2 days off a week, so pretend that that day is today!  Let's dive into today's LET'S PUMP THE BRAKES part of the post!

LET'S PUMP THE BRAKES, just a bit

Have you ever seen the movie Devil's Advocate?  It's a story about a lawyer who rises up through the ranks, makes it big, moves to the big city and eventually finds out that he is kinda sorta the spawn of Satan (played by Al Pacino).  Sorry for the spoiler alert if you haven't seen it, but really...it's been out since 1997.  If you haven't seen it by now, you probably won't and that's on you, not me.  Anyway, not that point.  So in the movie basically this lawyer (played by Keanu Reeves) rises to the top thinking that he is an awesome Southern lawyer who has made it big and then gets tempted by the Devil.  It gets pretty ugly in the end and all the devil tells him is that he believes in free will, giving people options and lets them make the decision (as opposed to some sort of divine destiny set out by God where you have no choice (according to Al Pacino)). Well now you know what this one was more or less all about.  

SO, I am in no way about to call the good ol' folks at Nike the devil by any means but I felt like the reference to Devil Advocate was worth it when you read this article about how they kinda sorta got testy when a 9 year-old boy wore an Under Armour hoodie instead of one of their swoosh hoodies - http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/11296754/nike-official-emails-florida-state-seminoles-armour-sweatshirt-worn-jimbo-fisher-son  Basically the summary goes like this - Florida State University's (FSU) football team is sponsored by Nike.  The goes for basically anyone on the sideline, coaches, players, water boys, those grad students they have on the side making sure that the TV wires are perfectly coiled so that no trips and falls over them...essentially everyone.  FSU wins a game and are walking off of the field where the coach is mobbed by on-field reporters...his son who is 9, presumably was around the sidelines and runs over to join him as they head for the locker room.  The TV cameras are following his every dirty, disgusting contract breaching move.  This kid thinks...oh, hey look at me I am only 9, I can wear whatever I want.  I'm in fourth grade and I'm THE BOSS!  Wrong!  Nike sent an email to Coach Jimbo Fisher asking/demanding that his son find something else to wear...something a little more Nike and less UA.  Then of course they did a sleazy little - "hey, it was just a joke, we were only kidding".  Were you Nike?  Were you?  I rest my case! (See how I did that there, tied it back into the Devil's Advocate?  The movie I just mentioned before...yes, I just told you about it)  Anyway, Nike - pump your brakes a bit and let the kid wear some Under Armour, their stuff is pretty sweet.  Editor's note: This event occurred during the 2013 season but is just making headlines now due to whatever reason, making more scandalous. And a big thanks to the people at themetapicture.com for that cool Nike logo you see above.

Moving right along to the Pump Your Brakes piece, we have Jerry Jones and his Dallas Cowboys "America's Team".  Are they trying to imply that if you hate the Cowboys, that you hate America?  'Cause if they are...they better watch their big, ugly mouths.  So it seems like ol' Jer' is up to something on the PR front this pre-season.  He so annoyingly sent his season ticket holders their tickets for the season recently and in that envelope there was also a ticket sheet with tickets for playoffs games including the NFC Championship game.  Oh Jerry, why did you do this?  Cool souvenir for the season ticket holders (not a terrible one right now, but in January when they finished 8-8 and missed the playoffs, will it be cool?) or maybe it was your way of "motivating" your star QB and WR Tony Romo and Dez Bryant respectively?  I honestly do not know, nor will most of us every really know what's going on in the cabeza of yours.  I will give him credit for sticking with Romo through these years, but at the same time...at the key moments he is always the goat...and not like the acronym Greatest Of All Time.  But Jerry at least you have that, I don't know why you have that since you have run through head coaches like you're getting paid by the hire (you are not a placement firm, that's not how it works).  Hey at least you passed on Sean Payton saving him the trouble of having to stick around through mediocre seasons with a mediocre (by comparison) quaterback.  Nah, he went to New Orleans, get set up with Drew "Easy Breezy" Brees and the rest is history - Super Bowl wins, making the playoffs like every year, passing records...blah blah blah.  But as they say in Mets Land Jerry, there is always next year.  I could be completely wrong in my assessment of this one, but if history has taught us anything...it tends to repeat itself.

Oh and the story - http://espn.go.com/dallas/nfl/story/_/id/11295007/dallas-cowboys-include-playoff-tickets-package-season-ticket-holders

So there you have it folks! (Haven't typed out folks in a long time)  Those are the stories in sports that have people talking.  All of this writing about football has left me amped up for September!  For the record, I am a Jets fan so any of my opinions from this point forward must be reviewed from the standpoint that rationality is not my strong suit. 

Enjoy your Saturday and as always...

Happy Watching!!