Obama Thinks NFL Is Lame, I Agree!!!

Happy Humpy Day!  I really wasn't planning on putting up a post today but I came across a story that I am sure most of you if not all of you have seen already.  The Goodell Mafia has done it again in the NFL, bungling things and pretending that they care…and that my friends is something worth sharing!!  

So the story goes a little something like this - the Detroit Lions are beating the Dallas Cowboys in the 4th quarter of Sunday's second game of the day.  The Lions were in a tough spot on third down and as the play developed quarterback Matthew Stafford tried to hit his receiver down field for a first down which would have run more time off of the clock BUT as the ball made it's way to it's intended target the defender for the Cowboys more or less ran into the receiver and NEVER turned his head around towards the ball, which by the way is the easiest way to register a slam dunk call of pass interference on the defense.  The official in the best position to make this call throws his yellow handkerchief on the field and signals for pass interference.  The referee debates it while everyone waits for the call when low and behold the flag is picked up by the official put back in his pocket and no foul is awarded to the Lions.  They don't pick up the first down, punt the ball to Dallas, Dallas goes down the field scores and wins the game.  Dallas fans rejoice while the rest of the country (now instant Lions fans) curse the refs, moon, stars, sun and especially the NFL and it's elitist bull crap and know this whole thing is fixed (which it is). Pictured below, ex-bunk mates at Camp Turdington - (Left to right) some dude, Jones and Christie and some jackass behind Christie.

But hey, one can only be salty for so long after a bad loss...and then the NFL goes ahead and issues a statement essentially saying that they got the call wrong, go pound sand and buy our merchandise at www.evilempirethugs.com.  This statement was so stupid to make and proved nothing but their own ineptitude that President Obama weighed in on it, "If I was a Lions fan I'd be pretty aggravated".  In politically correct linguistics that means (to me at least) the POTUS is fed up with the NFL and how miserable they are at managing anything.  Look everyone makes mistakes but the NFL has just screwed so much lately that I have no sympathy for them.

And in honor of Humpy Day...how about this hump? - 

HAPPY WATCHING!!! 

We're Back Baby!! And Hairy!!

Welcome to Snowy, Post-Holiday 20 degrees Tuesday!!

It's been a loooong, long time since the last time I put something out there and I really have no excuse.  Yeah, I could blame it on the holidays, work, life…whatever.  I am just lazy, very very lazy, but that is all about to change!!  The best sports times are ahead of us!  The NFL playoffs conducted their "Wild Card Weekend" and wild it was.  

The NBA season is in full swing and I am pretty sure that no one noticed.  The Knicks made moves yesterday releasing under-performing big man Samuel Dalembert and a nice trade sending JR Smith and Iman Shumpert to the Cleveland Cavaliers and in return they got 10 pounds of poop in a 5 pound bag.  It's overflowing and landing on your shoes.  They can't contain it…you can't contain it the poop is just everywhere…it's even in your raccoon wounds (Family Guy reference).!!  BUT oh are the Knicks trying to squeeze it back into the bag by touting the draft picks, trade exceptions, better fit and the extra salary cap space, but I am not buying and I won't help try to push it back down into the bag…I like my shoes clean.  But this is just another event in a long line of wacky moves by the Knicks.

Well, well, well they concluded the most recent MLB Hall of Fame voting process.  One that includes sports writers and other associated baseball brass (I am not there yet) and four big name players were voted in.  These guys were very, very good...dare I say potential legends for playing admirably during baseball's JUICED Era, where everything was bigger but three of these guys' ERAs and the fourth guy's home run total made it in.  They are Pedro Martinez, John Smoltz, Randy Johnson and Craig Biggio…congratulations guys!  But let's get down to the real issue here - Mike Piazza was not inducted into baseball's Hall and I find this to be a travesty!!  I demand a recount!  He missed getting in by 28 votes, surely someone counted incorrectly…there is no other reason!  Breathe, breathe….Ok, he still has 7 years of eligibility…He got 69.9% of the vote, you need 75%...almost there.  It'll be fine, right?

Also - while I was away this happened…It was a result of GROVEMBER.  It's like Movember but you grow a full beard while raising money for charity, it's pretty cool.  After a while the beard went away and this was left for a few days.

Ok my friends, I am glad to be back and sharing the sports world with you.  I promise to be less lazy this year and who knows it may even happen but probably not.

HAPPY WATCHING!!

Red Bulls Playoff Run Recap & Why You Should Watch Thursday Night Football

(4th Row correspondent Steven Humiston takes us through Sunday's NY Red Bulls Game) - On a windy and cool Sunday afternoon, the Red Bulls and DC United played the 1^st leg of the home and home Eastern Conference Semi-finals in Harrison, NJ. From the first minute to the 90^th minute, the RBs controlled possession and tempo throughout all phases of the game leading to a 2-0 victory over top seeded DC United. Playing through its wing players Thierry Henry and Lloyd Sam, New York caused havoc down the flanks creating numerous scoring opportunities. Magic struck for the Red Bulls in the 40^th minute as Lloyd Sam played a ball through the box that was back heeled by Henry to a streaking Bradley Wright-Phillips (BWP). BWP calmly pushed the ball by DC keeper Bill Hamid for the first goal of the match. DC's backline was left confused and struggling for answers as the combo attacking plays unlocked DC's defense for the first goal.

In the second half, it was more of the same. Led by backline stalwarts Jamison Olave and Ibrahim Sekagya, the Red Bulls controlled possession forcing DC United to press for the away goal that is so important in soccer’s playoff structure. Stretching DC United’s formation the Red Bulls were able to work the ball to Thierry Henry at midfield, who played an excellent over the top ball to fellow Frenchman Peguy Luyindula. Peguy (not of credit card commercial fame) slipped the shot through DC goalie Hamid’s legs giving the Red Bulls a commanding 2-0 lead after 73 minutes. With the game in hand, Thierry Henry was pulled for a sub to save his legs for the return match at RFK Stadium on Saturday (2:30PM NBC). With the possibly that this could have been his final home match, Henry went out in style – two brilliant assists and Red Bull faithful chanting HENRY and ONE MORE YEAR as he left the field. The last 10 minutes were played with DC looking for a goal, but it would not be the case on this Sunday.

With the Red Bulls up 2-0 in this series heading to DC United, they are seeking their first trip to any conference final since 2008. DC United will be looking to keep its worst to first season alive. This MLS original and only I-95 rivalry that counts (sorry Union fans) will add yet another thrilling chapter on Saturday at RFK Stadium.

Full preview of Saturday’s matching coming Friday right here on Grilled Cheese Sports.
Thanks again Steve!  Looking forward to Saturday's battle!!

Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals - Thursday 8:25PM NFL Network

    I know exactly what you're thinking when you read the line above…ugh Browns-Bengals…Why should I care?  I'm not from Cincinnati…I'm not from Cleveland (dodged a bullet there), why on Earth would I tune into this game on NFL Network when I could be watching any number of other highly rated television programs on Thursday night?  Heck, I could save my eyeballs the strain of such terrifying football and just go to bed early, get a jump start on Friday and actually have some energy to go out partying Friday night.  BUT let me tell you something brother (Macho Man Randy Savage), this isn't your, uh older brother's Browns and Bengals..no, no this my friend is the match up of the new Midwestern NFL powerhouses!!  One that will last through the next century (easily!) and cripple the current football kingdoms in Green Bay and Chicago. 

Well, maybe not just yet but there is plenty to get excited about for this game.  Let's run through a few things -

1.  Both teams are over .500 with the Browns (5-3) and Bengals (5-2-1)…yes they have a tie.  I forgot about it too.  October 12th against Carolina in a very high scoring affair.  There are more and more teams that are not only falling to .500 or below but many of which can't even smell .500, yes Jets, Bucs and Raiders you found our way into this post.

2.  The Bengals play in Paul Brown Stadium (long time owner and namesake of the original Browns, now the Ravens).  The Browns play in FirstEnergy Stadium (which up until 2012 was Cleveland Browns Stadium…So if the Browns play at Paul Brown Stadium is it considered a home game or at the very least a home away from home game?

3.  The QB for Cincinnati is Andy Dalton, his nickname in The Red Rocket and has Cheez Doodle colored hair - that's pretty awesome.

4.  Cleveland despite being named the Browns wear primarily orange and white uniforms and don't have a logo on either side of their helmets which I believe makes them the only team to do so.  It's kinda like if the Cincinnati Reds (baseball) worn jerseys primarily consisting of blue and yellow.  I know they were named after Paul Brown and not the color brown but they could make a better effort to incorporate it into the mix.

5.  The Browns quarterback Brian Hoyer has had a pretty incredible run through the NFL ranks to get to this spot eventually having to fight off college football superstar and all-around party animal Johnny Manziel. Hoyer has been competent in leading the Browns and deserves to keep the role thus far.

6.  AJ Green, Bengals wide receiver is back for his second week after recovering from injury.  The shortened turnaround time from Sunday should prove to be tough and will level the playing field in this game because when he is healthy…other teams' secondaries usually get toasted!!

That's about it!  Turn on, tune in and take it all in!

HAPPY WATCHING!!

Things Are About to Get Hairy, Very Hairy!!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!!  I hope everyone's Halloween weekend was filled with ghosts, ghouls, good costumes and great times.  The clocks went back an hour (in case you didn't realize), the weather at least here in the northeast got cooler and most importantly November is finally upon us!  It's a magical time for sports, food and revelry.  Thanksgiving = more food, 3 Thursday football games, random NBA games and more food.  The MLS playoffs are in full swing, Red Bulls won again (twice in 4 days on Sunday at Red Bull Arena), I was there and a lot of fun.  I highly recommend checking out their next playoff game…there will be more!  Continuing on with the awesomeness of November is how the college football playoffs/bowl series will shape up as the rivalry game flood the weekends and every game means so much more…exciting.  The FOOD, oh the FOOD of November!!  Turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, cranberry sauce from a can with the little can ribs on the sides, pumpkin pie (not really a pumpkin latte guy though) and of course stuffing - massive amounts of stuffing…all kinds of stuffing.

BUT what really got me excited about the turn from October to November this past weekend was the start of GROVEMBER!! For those of you who are unaware of this exciting charitable endeavor it is like Movember where you grow a mustache for the month and raise money for a good cause. BUT in GROVEMBER you grow the whole beard.  I am participating to raise money for the Ronald McDonald House of New York which offers a ton of services for families who have children fighting cancer.  Hit me up for details if you want to donate and help some really great kids!!

I am only a few days in so the growth is not extremely strong but it will get there.  While thinking about the combination of sports and beards a new world of wackiness was opened. So let's take a look around and exhibit some of the best and gnarliest beards out there!!

BEARDS!!

Brad Kreisel of the Pittsburgh Steelers, it's been a thing for a while and is quite legendary as far a beards in sports go - 

Next on the list is Brian Wilson most recently of the Los Angeles Dodgers has been working this jet black (pretty sure it's dyed) beard with reckless abandon.  Pair with crazy Mohawk and he is a sight to be seen on the mound late in games - 

Johnny Damon had the Captain Caveman thing going when he patrolled the outfield for the Boston Red Sox when they made one of the most improbable comebacks in MLB playoff history against the rival New York Yankees - 

Timmy Howard keeps the USMNT in most games with his quick reflexes and uncanny ability to always seem to positioned properly in goal.  He also had this lately...not one of my favorites - 

BUT it's way better than this one rocked by Captain Lou Albano of WWF fame in the 1980's- 

That's all I have for now...when mine grows out a bit more I'll throw it up there for humiliation purposes especially compared to these beasts!!

Happy Growing My Friends and enjoy the fall!!

HAPPY WATCHING!!!

Excuse Me Sir, You're Standing On My Throat

How The Sports World Is Beating Me Down Lately

It's been a while since my last post and I know you're probably thinking that I am a lazy bag.  That I don't care to stick to this nice little side project I have kicked off on the tail end of this past summer's scintillating World Cup...you'd probably be right in most cases (I am pretty lazy), but not here.  The truth is that I am burnt out with the sports world right now.  

My teams have been miserable in 2014.  The Mets actually did the best they could but still ended up below .500 in the win column and really showed zero life at the plate.  The bright side is ace pitcher Matt Harvey returns to the rotation next season and that is a very bright side indeed, but it's not enough to get excited about just yet.  

Manchester United (my favorite soccer team) has been so far below average this season that they just keep making transactions, roster shake ups and increasingly annoying predictions from their front office.  Brand new head coach Louis Van Gaal has been flapping his gums since the summer as to how he was going to shake things up at Old Trafford and revitalize the club who has struggled mightily since the departure (retired) of United demi-god Sir Alex Ferguson.  The team lacks identity as all of their players of yester-year are now gone…Ryan Giggs is on the coaching staff but that doesn't seem to be helping…at all.

The Jets make me just sad.  There is very little upside this season other than at least we now know that Geno Smith is not the QB of the future.  Rex Ryan has benched him a few times already during games and has now decided to flat out start Michael Vick this week.  Geno completed more passes to players on the other team (3) than his own (2) before getting the hook.  It's sad, I have removed emotions from the mess and am looking forward to the playoffs.

Moving right along on the Melancholy March, things haven't improved around the NFL with regards to the domestic and substance abuse policies.  Since the start of the season, players have been arrested, arraigned, sentence and so on…it's pretty depressing when you think about getting excited about an organization that allows this type of thing to go on while raking in the dough and not giving back enough to the fans.  

But you know what?  It's our own fault.  Heck, a report came yesterday that at the miserable Jets-Bills game a few fans got into scuffles in the stands with one of them getting knocked out cold.  Is this what we really want to do with our Sundays?  And it's both sides.  The report quotes a high level of intoxication, Buffalo fans being obnoxious and a Jets fan punching his face off.  That's too stressful for my tastes on Sundays.  I have chosen a different path with sports lately, it's one of indifference most the most part.  I enjoy watching small doses and find some stories utterly fascinating like the Royals playoff run (not going well lately) and the lead up to the insanity that will surely come about when the college football mafia begins to determine which teams will be competing in their brandy new COLLEGE FOOTBALL SUPER PLAYOFF EXTRAVAGANZA!!!  Slow golf clap….

Maybe I am just being a crotchety old man who is having a tough time dealing with a recent rough patch with his favorite teams, but the other day while I was working through my drawers of clothing, rotating my warmer weather clothes into the bins for storage and colder weather gear into the drawers I can across a few items of clothing - 

1.  Marc Sanchez jersey (not sure why this wasn't burned)

2.  Jose Reyes jersey (see comment above)

3.  Carlos Beltran & K-Rod t-shirt jerseys smashed into the back of one drawer (you can tell I have been lazy in rotating some years)

4.  And worst of all - Darrelle Revis jersey (a really nice one that was a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law, incredibly thoughtful!)  The saddest thing about the Revis scenario is now he plays for the Patriots…

Honestly, I have no answers…

Hope this brightened your day by comparison!

HAPPY WATCHING!!!

Royals Rocking & Rolling

A Very Big Blue Weekend

The BLUES!!!

1.  College Football Jerseys & Natural Light beer cans

2.  Jets blues & The Blueshirts

3.  Big Blue Wrecking Crew

4.  Best one of the weekend the Powder Blue Royals!

Happy Saturday Y'All!!!  College football is in full swing this weekend with some powerful match ups - (2) Auburn vs. (3) Mississippi State, (9) TCU vs. (5) Baylor, (12) Oregon vs. (18) UCLA and a Notre Dame game that is about as close as it gets with UNC as this is being written. (look for updates later in the weekend)

The NFL is looking to continue it's week six with 13 games tomorrow featuring Peyton Manning's Broncos coming to town (NY Jets fan) looking to tie/break Brett Favre's career TD mark.  Peyton needs 5 TDs to tie and 6 to break and honestly with the Jets playing the way they are...this is insanely possible and really I secretly want them to get rolled on.  With Geno Smith going to the movies instead of team meetings, Michael Vick half-assing it in practice as the primary backup with a $4 million dollar salary and above all else, the coaching staff actually siding with them and concocting ridiculous excuses for previous snafus.  I am tired, simply tired of them.  I told a co-worker this week that I was done with them and will instead focus on my fantasy football team and maybe give hockey a shot this year...the New York Rangers looked pretty good the other night in St. Louis, just saying.  My prediction is DEN 42 - NYJ - 6, no record for Peyton this week.

The other major dialogue in the NFL this week seems to be the game between the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Eagles.  There has been pregame smack talking from both sides, each team has a winning record and more importantly their match ups usually turn out to be close, hard fought games.  Both fans bases are pretty into their teams, the Philly fans are pretty miserable to be around in general and this only makes matters worse.  The game kicks off at 8:30PM Sunday night which means the entire east coast will be watching...the first half at least and then probably flip over to something else or go to bed, thanks for that NFL.  My prediction is NYG 31 - PHI 27 (tiny Eli taunt video can be found on ESPN or just Google it)

The Kansas City Royals have been on fire, but not in the blow out sense.  They haven't been crushing their opponents bones into dust, no they have not!  But man have they been incredibly exciting to watch.  Jumping out to leads, giving them up, getting back in the game and then winning it in extra innings.  This has happened 4 times so far this postseason.  The Powders are 5-0 heading into tonight's game which for a team that hasn't made the playoffs since Ronnie Reagan started his second term as POTUS and that is darned impressive.  They have a nice core of young players who don't have out of this world stats...no 45 homer hitters, no 20 game winners but through timely hitting and smart coaching they are just making it work...so far.  Only time will tell if they can move on to the World Series, it's only one game so far, but those road wins are golden!!

HAPPY WATCHING!!!

The NFL's All Orange Jumpsuit Team

The NFL's All Orange Jumpsuit Team

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the weekend!  It is Friday night and the feelings right!  Everybody getting ready for a fun filled, action packed weekend?  I sure hope so.  We look to be getting a healthy does of rain this Saturday in the Northeast, but I am letting that get me down.  Speaking of having fun, have you ever been at a party and someone is clearly having too much fun.  Like way more fun than everyone else there and you are pretty sure that was not by accident.  By the end of the party that guy has puke crusted on the bottom of his shirt (if he is still wearing one), may be missing a shoe and probably lost some combination of keys/wallet/cell phone/sanity/girlfriend.  We have all seen it happen, heck maybe one time that person was you!  No bigs though right it's not like you ended up in jail or anything…or maybe you did, I don't know.

Well, having fun is pretty much the name of the game when you are a professional athlete.  You workout, practice, play in billion dollar stadiums and get paid nicely.  Pretty sweet!  But just like us simpletons, professional athletes have a little too much fun sometimes.  This has been a bit of a hot topic lately with the recent big name NFL players getting arrested, arraigned whatever.  So I thought to myself, what if we HAD to make an All-Star team comprised of only players and former players who served time in an orange jumpsuit…the answer is you bet your buns we could.  Sure, I thought…there are the notables but not enough to get a team together and where would I be able to get enough guys (let's just say we throw 11 guys together, they will play offense and defense)?  I don't remember every story about NFL players going to jail…so it makes things tougher but let's give it a go shall we.

1.  Jamal Lewis (RB) - Lewis was arrested and convicting of using a cell phone to facilitate a drug deal.  I think it's funny in this day and age that they clarify that he used a cell phone as opposed to say a hand written note on personalized stationery.  Lewis was an awesome running back for the Ravens mostly, some other stops were in there as well.  He once ran for 295 yards in a game breaking the record of 278 set by Corey Dillon.

2.  Nate Newton (G) - Big Nate Newton was pinched for drug trafficking in 2001 after the police found a very small amount of marijuana in his car after a traffic stop.  That small amount was 213 pounds worth, that's a grown man in pot form.  That's a lot!  Nate was a 6 time Pro-Bowler and 2 time Super Bowl champion with the Dallas Cowboys dynasty from the 1990's.  He served 2 years of a 7.5 year sentence and is now presumably just chillin'…probably.

3.  Art Schlichter (QB) - Art who?  Who the f$&!* is Art Schlichter?  Ha, you wish you knew!  I didn't know until I came across him doing some Googling and man was I impressed.  So here's the deal on ol' Artie.  He was a former fourth overall draft pick out of Ohio State in 1982 and essentially was a dud.  He holds a career 3-11 NFL record and threw for just over 1,000 yards…not that great, Drew Brees threw for 5000+ last season.  However, he was a beast in the arena league in the early 1990's and was the MVP of the league in 1990.  He makes this list because clearly he can chuck the pigskin and seems to have had quite the gambling problem.  Losing dough to every bookie in town and then the associated stuff that goes along with getting mixed up in that life.  He claims to have swindled and gambled away over $1.5 million over the years and got caught for fraud and theft.  Ouch.  He is currently serving a 10 year sentence.

4.  Leonard Little (DE) - Little Lenny Little (6'3", 267 pounds) was a Pro Bowler and Super Bowl Champion with the St. Louis Rams in the early 2000's…the period I like to call the Kurt "Flirt" Warner Era.  Lenny was partying waaaaaay too much, got behind the wheel of a car and killed someone.  It's commonly referred to as vehicular homicide but he only got involuntary manslaughter…got a three month sentence.  Seems about right.  You kill someone and go away for three months.  Blame it on the booze it seems.

5.  Ryan Leaf (QB, a bad one) - Mister Leaf was an incredibly highly touted college quarterback.  He was a number 2 selection overall out of Washington State.  That was about the highlight of his NFL career.  He was terrible, granted so were the San Diego Chargers at the time, but man was he bad.  His quarterback rating was 50 (bad) and his TD to INT ratio was 14:36 (bad).  To make matters worse, he was arrested after his career a few times for burglary, theft and drug possession.  He is currently serving out a 7 year sentence for a guilty plea/plea bargain type thing.

6.  Dave Meggett (RB, WR, KR, PR) - I HAD to add Davey Boy Meggett to this list.  He was a fixture of the 1990's New York Giants lineup.  He was one of the "Parcells boys" and man could he do it all.  He could run, pass, catch, return…you name it and he did it…along with criminal misconduct of the sexual nature and burglary which netted him 30 years in state lock up!  Good work Dave.

7.  Sam "Thundering" Hurd (WR) - Dallas Cowboys/Chicago Bears wide out Sammie Hurd was a speedster with great hands and on turf the saying goes, speed kills.  In real life, cocaine does too.  Hurd was arrested for conspiracy to possess cocaine and marijuana with the intent to distribute.  Sounds like a very convoluted way of saying that he called his buddy, asked him for a ton of drugs and was then going to sell them to his buddies…presumably around the NFL.  Weird…that probably never happens, oh wait.  


8.  Orenthal J. Simpson (RB) - It's been long enough in this thing to have not mentioned OJ by now, but honestly I was kinda saving him until just about the end.  OJ Simpson was an amazing running back for the Buffalo Billsin the 1960's and 70's.  His achievements on the field are remarkable and it is no wonder why he in the NFL Hall of Fame in Canton, OH.  His off of the field activities are just as legendary.  The Juice was beloved by the American public and even had a few acting roles after his playing days were over.  And then…and then, he alledgedly killed his wife and her lover in cold blood.  All good according to the jury, he was set free, free as a bird now…then he got whoppered in the civil case by the lover's parents.  No dough and down on his luck he broke into a hotel room being occupied by a sports collectibles enthusiast.  He then stole items from said enthusiast that he felt belonged to him.  He was arrested and is now in jail for that crime.  Karma can be a killer sometimes...

9.  Terry "Tank" Johnson - (DT) The Tanker played a mean nose tackle for the Chicago Bears (for the bulk of his career).  He was a force in the middle clogging up running lanes and mauling opposing centers to get to the quarterback.  One could say he assaulted defenses every chance he got.  Which is funny since he was arrested for of all things assaulting people and owning unlicensed assault weapons and hand guns.  His story reads like that of a guy with a good amount of dough hitting clubs living it up and keep a ton of guns.

10.  Lawrence Phillips (RB) - Larry Phil gets almost top billing here because he combines some seriously violent behavior and being a disaster of a draft bust.  He was taken 6th overall and in defense of the Rams, he was awesome in college.  He was a big bruiser but unfortunately for him it just never really clicked at the top level and he was basically out of the NFL in a few years.  He went abroad and played well in Europe.  Speaking of abroad, he got into trouble with the law for punching his girlfriend…that's pretty bad.  BUT even better he got arrested and sentenced to 31 years for driving his car into a group of teenagers, on purpose.  That's pretty messed up, I mean seriously?  That is why he was picked number 10! - You see this photo and think, man life is annoying...

11.  Plaxico Burress/Michael Vick - (WR/QB) - Yes, I get it I have too many WRs and QBs, well just get over it.  Those are the interesting players.  No one give a poop about the linebackers who actually kill people (allegedly but then find Jesus and it's all cool...Ray Lewis, I gotcha bro').  But this twosome is coming into training camp as a tandem.  It's either both or none.  One shot himself in the leg in an NYC club trying to conceal a gun in sweatpants...sweatpants!  The other served time for fighting dogs against each other.  A horrible thing but a crime I think not.  It's brutal and terrible but does a man really need to go to jail for a long time (longer than many rapists and child molesters for this crime)?  Either way I saved these two for the man, THAT SUCKS play.  I love ya both but man, you gotta be better than that.  That's just dumb...silent b.

Honorable mention - L to the Tizzle

HAPPY WATCHING!! 

If All Else Fails…The Fans Are Entertaining

If All Else Fails…The Fans Are Entertaining

Come one, come all!!  Week 4 in the NFL has come and gone!  Some teams are on the rise and some teams are on the fall.  My beloved Jets are 1-3 and pretty much define the teams on the decline group.  It's early still they say.  It's not over 'til it's over they say.  It's going to be alright, one win can turn around the team/season!  Bah, I say!  I have all too frequently seen this start and it ends in a 7-9 season, maaaaaybe 8 wins with 8 losses - missing the playoffs and getting a run-of-the-mill draft pick somewhere around 17th or so.  We could have kept Sanchez around for this.  At least Sanchez gave us Butt Fumble and that snazzy shoelace headband he started using towards the end of his Jets career.  All I am saying is that if you are like me and your team is 1-3 and on the downturn, call it was it is a lost season.  BUT all hope is not lost - many of us still have our fantasy team(s) after all.  The real teams that can actually make us some dough for our blood, sweat and tears.  Oh wait, what's that your fantasy teams are 0-4.  Oh, um my bad.  I did not mean to bring that up at the same time as bringing up how bad your actual team is too.  

Let's try again - BUT watching the games whether at home or in the stadium can really showcase some of the best talents the game has to offer!!  I have at times this NFL season focused too much on the spousal, child and substance abuses shooting through the airwaves and NFL front offices.  It's probably because those things just get me in a bitter, pessimistic mode.  You couple that with summer not yet releasing New Jersey from it's back sweat inducing heat and humidity and September can be a testy time for me.  Oh, the talents part, right.  Watching football games from your couch or line for the men's' room at your local stadium can still showcase some of the amazing talents in the NFL…this of course belongs to the fans who dress up to see games live in the stadium!!  In case you've missed these in the past, here is a quick swing through the most notable football weirdos (in my mind at least).

Kansas City Chiefs - These Guys

I was watching the Patriots - Chiefs on Monday night and I came across some pretty awesome looking characters in the stands.  I couldn't find a pic of the guy who had RedXtreme on the back of his outfit but it led me to do some search for other examples and it turns out that the Kansas City Chiefs have some very colorful fans.

New York Jets - Jet Man

This story is one of the wackiest given that the Jets had a long time fan o' the stadium in Fireman Ed (first picture below).  He would get on his brother or brother-in-laws shoulders, quiet the entire stadium at the appropriate times (touchdowns, key 4th quarter drives and field goals).  It was great and he was great.  He was at every home game and I believe he even hit the road every now and again.  He was a force to be reckoned with when it came to the Jets, fans, and opponents.  The stadium would erupt in unison with J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets!

And then Sanchez came along with his interceptions, the aforementioned Butt Fumble and a whole slew of other on the field miscues.  It boils down to this - head coach backed Sanchez, owner backed Sanchez and to show his support for the failing QB Fireman Ed switched his traditional Bruce Harper jersey to a Sanchez jersey.  Many (well enough) fans thought that he had gone corporate and was no longer a true fan.  This was complete idiocy and was accompanied by constant heckling which led to his eventual refusal to attend games.  Thus his chant leading ended and does not seem to be coming back any time soon.  Not that JetMan (I believe there are a few of them roaming the stadium) is a bad idea in general, but it's no Fireman Ed as the second picture below clearly exhibits.

And now this - 

Washington Redskins - Hogettes

Moving right along, the spotlight scans the country's stadiums and lands squarely on a bunch of dudes.  Not shocking really, a lot of the fans at today's NFL games are dudes.  These dudes however get ready for hard-nosed football and fandom by dressing up as big hogs…in drag.  Yep, grown men dressing up as pigs that kinda look like the nice old lady next door when you were growing up.  I really don't know what to make of that but I guess if that's what they are in to then go for it.  They have been doing it for years so I guess no one messes with them.  I would find it weird though if they dressed up like pigs and chowed down on pork brats and pork ribs…kind of a weird cannibalism thing going on.

It's All About The Make Up & Props!!

This last section is dedicated to the fans who I felt best utilized the combination of make up and props.  They are fierce yet painted…spikey at times yet hair is often braided.  They like silver and black but also deep purple and bright yellow.  Similarly contrasting styles (what?) yet equally as dedicated and intimidating!  They are the Oakland Raiders fans from their Black Hole and Minnesota Vikings fans who come ready to pillage and plunder.  

Raiders

Minnesota Vikings

I can't really determine how much of an impact these fans have on the outcome of their respective team's home games, but man are they entertaining to watch…especially on tv, when they aren’t sweating and yelling within arm's length of me!

Football returns tomorrow night with the Green Bay Packers taking on the Minnesota Vikings in what should be a thrilling NFC North battle.  These teams don't care much for the well being of the other and that makes for great entertainment.

HAPPY WATCHING!!!

Fantasy Vs. Reality Deciphered (Well, Football At Least)

Fantasy Vs. Reality Deciphered (Well, Football At Least)

With the proliferation of the Internet and the deluge of information that has come with having a connected device within arms reach at all times we sometimes have a difficult time differentiating what's actually going on in the world and what is merely conjecture or completely made up.  We (most humans) typically try to find a balance between the two (fantasy and reality).  We read newspapers, watch the evening news while at the same time Marvel's movies (Disney's latest talent grab) are raking in the dough at record pace and showing no signs of slowing down…unless they make another Daredevil movie (Sorry Affleck, but that was misery…not miserable…just plain misery).  

This divergence is probably never viewed more clearly than through the lens of fantasy sports, more specifically fantasy football.  We draft players from the NFL universe, strategically reviewing their statistics over the past few years (averages 98 yards rushing per game), building projections (player X is 26 years old and may have a huge breakout season…finally!), analyzing bye weeks (can't have half of your guys out week 6 or you're toast), comparing their strengths to that of their opponents (run first v. run stopping defenses) and a myriad of other factors.  Our teams become essentially more important than our local/favorite real team in the NFL.  Realistically speaking about our fantasy team (can you realistically talk about fantasy?) they mean more to us because we feel like we actually put more into how they were constructed than the local team.  I am a Jets fan (yes, I know…we all make bad decisions) and I have 0.0% of an impact on how this team develops talent, drafts new players and draws big names through free agency.  I love the Jets and I'd like to think that every time they play, they actually care about me watching them on my television at home (wishful thinking, dare I say fanciful thinking…), but when it comes to my fantasy football team I really do not care about what they think of me watching them play on Thursday, Sunday or Monday (and those weirdo Saturday games late in the season).  They are pieces to a puzzle that hopefully wins me a few bucks and bragging rights in the various leagues and groups I compete in.  Player gets hurt, guy goes to jail, beats up a security guard at a club, shoots himself in the leg in a club (it happens), punches out his boo in a casino elevator or the always fun week 5 drug charge that lingers for the rest of the season - you know who you are.  BUT at the end of the day, they are just pieces to the puzzle.  After all (and one of the best parts of fantasy versus reality football) is that you are only in the position you are because you drafted these guys.  Some brain damaged General Manager did not blow the last 4 drafts on kickers and special teams specialists…oh no…this one is on you pal.  For some people that is too much to handle and they shut down and lock themselves in the fantasy cocoon of self denial.

This was just a long winded way of saying that for the first time in a pretty long time, I really have zero fantasy weight on my mind while I settle in for tonight's Jets-Bears game.  I never draft Jets (so I am good there) and I am having a really rough week and pretty much have no hope of winning either of my fantasy leagues regardless of what my players do tonight.  It's pretty liberating (I actually typoed there and wrote liverating)  New word - LIVERATING - the process of punishing my liver while watching sports televised or otherwise.  Like drinking St. Ide's Special Brew while watching intramural volleyball (you know who you are).  Anyway, basically the internal battle for me between putting my favorite team over my potentially money making fantasy team is peacefully on hold for tonight's game.  This does not however mean that there will be anything peaceful about the way in which this game plays out, but still…at least I have some modicum of peace, somewhere.  It's all about perspective...

HAPPY WATCHING!!