A Visit To The US Open & Jerry Jones Gets Douchier!!

Breaking News! Live Sports are Better Sports!!!

Happy Thursday Everyone!  After spending all of Wednesday meticulously acquiring information for this distribution channel it is with great excitement that I can bring you some insight into the excitement of the US Open currently going on now in sunny Flushing Meadows, Queens (right next to The Temple "Citi Field").  While Anna K (pictured above is long out of pro tennis, it just seemed appropriate.  The USTA complex in Queens is a real beauty and I highly recommend checking it out for yourself one day…or even today or tomorrow - the tourney runs until September 9th with the Mens Singles Finals match.  The first bunch of days (when there are the most matches) are broken down into morning (11AM start) and a night (7PM start) sessions.  I attended the night session last night, but with the insane amount of tennis going on during the morning sessions it really would be the most bang for your buck!  And…I got back to Jersey City at 1AM, on a Wednesday…well I guess it was technically Thursday at that point. 

It is a veritable bonanza for the senses!  The entrance walkway is lined with American flags and dotted with workers there who will take your picture so you can avoid that awkward selfie face -

As you walk around the areas in between the almost 20 tennis courts there are sponsored food, booze and apparel stalls everywhere.  They have a Grey Goose signature drinks stand - the big one was the Grey Goose Honey Deuce served in a commemorative mug, this gargantuan Ralph Lauren Polo tennis apparel thing, a Pat LaFreida burger stand (purveyors of fine meats in the good old NY/NJ area) and my favorite - The Heineken House a huge raised bar with flat screens, plenty of elbow room and Adirondack chairs so you can kick it while sipping ice cold Heineken from their many taps.  It's elevated perch allows you so see into 3 of the tennis courts for a nice aerial view.

And This!

The two main matches in Arthur Ashe Stadium were highlighted by a victory for Venus Williams (a crowd fave there for many years) and Stan Wawrinka (ranked #3 in this tournament).  Both won easily and due to a Maria Sharapova marathon match beforehand, did not end until around midnight. Photos below - (View of some of the other courts as you make your way up and into Ashe Stadium. Second one is Wawrinka and Belucci battling it out)

All in all a great night…that is except for the fact that I had to get on the 7 TRAIN!!  It was crowded, hot and smelled like foot going there, and was only slightly better on the way back.  BUT it was only out done by a stank ride on the steamy PATH…it smelled like what I imaged the set of Borat smelled like…donkey and despair.  But anyways, let's move on before I say something I will regret that you heard.

Jerry Jones Confirms The Cowboys Are More About Flash Than Championships!!

Ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Jones makes headlines again for something other than winning playoff games.  The other day Jones gloated in the fact that his team is the "Glitz and Glamour" of the NFL.  They recently became the only NFL team with an official luxury watch and I think an official private jet company.  Forbes recently named them the richest (worth the most) franchise in American sports.  Their net worth dwarfs that of pretty much all NHL and NBA teams, a few baseball teams are around their level and there are 2 to 3 football teams nipping at their heals (Giants, 'Skins, etc). AND as Jerry Jones the businessman, this is extremely impressive.  He is a turd but even I will give him credit for turning an already commercially successful into a money generating juggernaut.  It is even more impressive considering they have consistently underachieved the past decade or so.  Spending much and winning some…but not enough.

That about wraps it up for today!  Enjoy your Thursday nights for tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!

Happy Watching!!
(spooning grilled cheese below)

Manchester United Complete Mega Transfer Deal & Ice, Ice Baby!!

Less farting around and more productivity!

Hi Everybody!  It's Tuesday, let's celebrate with some soccer news!

Angel Di Maria (Argentine soccer player) has been purchased from Real Madrid by the Red Devils of Manchester United for a club record 

£59.7M!!  That is some serious scratch just for the right to then sign him to a long term contract.  Di Maria a world class winger will really add poise and punch for a currently punchless and directionless ManU side.  He had a very solid World Cup for Argentina back in July and was named Man Of The Match at the Champions League final, where Real Madrid took down cross town rival Ateltico Madrid.  The signing piles up the total summer transfer costs incurred by Manchester United to a whopping  £132M.  The jury is out on the productiveness of the signings (the EPL season is only 2 games old for the squad) but I feel like it will not be enough to get them back to where they want to be (on top of the EPL table).  They missed out on a ton of top notch talent this summer with most of it either resigning with their current club or heading to the "new" Super Powers, Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid and Barcelona.  I am not saying that they haven't been good in the past but now they are all drawing THE top talent.  Toss in the top English and German clubs and someone is bound to get boxed out.  The REST of the soccer world does not operate with the high level of socialism found in our MLS.  **I am looking right at you New England Revolution and this pathetic "lottery" for Jermaine Jones**

Moving right along - I was called upon to do the  Ice Bucket Challenge, kinda nailed it...a big ol' bowl of frosty ice water...which was welcomed given that it is in the mid 80's in Jersey City and the more important part is that my dad, mom and brother were nominated for the challenge.  I am sure it will be great to see their interpretations of the challenge!  This charitable endeavor goes to raise money for curing ALS aka Lou Gehrig's Disease.  I have always found him to be a fascinating figure in baseball history despite being a life long New York Yankee.  He was nicknamed the Iron Horse for having played in 2130 consecutive games in the majors, a record since broken by Cal Ripken Jr.  Not to take anything away from Ripken, but when comparing Gehrig's career statistics to his, the only way Gehrig's playing were cut short was due to this debilitating disease.  The Iron Horse was a lifetime .340 hitter with 493 HRs and 1995 RBIs compared to Ripken's .276/431/1695 stat line.  Again, it takes a great player to play this long and for this many consecutive games but as evidenced by his stats, Lou Gehrig was not slowing down any time soon if not for getting ALS.  I am reminded of a post I put up last week or the week prior about silly sports injuries and the reasons some guys missed playing time.  It would have been interesting if fantasy baseball were around in 1939 and the little injury note icon popped up next to Gehrig's name in your lineup.  And you're like WHAT?  He can't be injured...and the note just simply says - "considers self world's luckiest man, potentially out for season because he's slowly dying."  Gehrig died 2 years later.  Let's find a cure!!

Also - I am matching my ALS donation with a donation to The Water Project they help people (kids, moms, dads and everyone else) who do not have easy access to potable water.  There are nearly 1 billion people like this around the world.  That's not fair and we need to help.

Keep it real my friends, and Dad, Mom and Steve you are on the clock!!!!

Happy Watching!!!

Reporting to you from the US Open tomorrow - will be a good one!

Brittney Griner Dunks (Big Deal) & Football Round Up!

Happy Monday everyone!  Monday mornings (especially this one) are never pretty.  Sky is falling, everything is backwards and completely not running as I hoped they would.  Luckily as the saying goes, time heals all wounds and eventually time on this Monday will run out.  Also, the bright side of it all is that next Monday is a national holiday so we got that going for us!!!  

That being said, let's just dive right into the weekend that was and week that will/might be!

Brittney Griner is a professional basketball player for the Phoenix Mercury.  She is 6 feet and 9 inches tall and as is relatively expected of a professional basketball player, athletic in nature.  So I am not really all that impressed (compared to other people) when she dunks in a basketball game.  I was an average high school basketball player and 6 feet 2 or maybe 3 inches tall and I threw a few down (granted in practice).  This Griner is supposed to be the best one at her position in the ladies league and it's being heralded as a miracle that she can dunk in a game.  Should the rim be lowered to 9 feet?  Should jet packs or rocket boosters be utilized?  Am I missing something?  Everyone…literally everyone can dunk in the NBA, even the 6'3" shooting guards can put it down.  Ok - maybe not JJ Redick (I am sure he can sometimes) Given that she is 6'9" this should be a common occurrence.  Beat someone in the post and throw it down!!  I wish I was 6'9", would be sweet to play in pick up games at the local Boys and Girls Club.  Ok, digressing a little here but you get the point right?  It's not just me!!

Saint Louis Rams quarterback Sam Bradford is done for the season.  He tore his ACL (again) this past weekend which lines him up for surgery, rehab and 2015.  I don't really see why the Rams would think that he was their "franchise" QB, but they did and now they owe him $14M for this season…pretty smart (on his part).  It's baffling to me how an organization heads into the football season with zero contingency plans for their QB situation when their numero uno has a history of getting hurt.  They have Shaun Hill…not the best (really dig the spelling though).  It's like driving a car around on a spare for weeks, you don't fix the bad tire and you don't have any spares.  Not smart..RUMOR is that they are eyeing Sanchez (formerly of the New York Jets, now carrying Nick Foles' water bottle for the Eagles).  If I am the Rams, I make a push for Mike Vick, but I also do not want to see him not on the Jets either - the tough part about being a fan I guess.

Speaking of which some quick hitters on the pre-season - 

++  Jets v Giants was a disaster if you are a Giants fan.  Not great if you're a Jets fan, but miserable for Big Blue fans.  Giants QB and captain Eli Manning looks lost and it doesn't seem like anything has gotten better from last season's crumby finish.  Should be a long season…

++  Wes Welker's brains are literally leaking out through his ears after suffering his third concussion in less than a year.  It's sad to see this happen to such a quality player, but I have seen it happen before.  One of my (and a lot of other 30 something year old Jets fans) favorite players Wayne Cherbet had issues with concussions and it's not something to be taken lightly.  Despite being a Bronco and former Patriot, I do hope Wes makes the right decisions regarding his career going forward.  Side note, Tom Brady is still a jerk.

++  Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton has a broken rib and probably will end up playing with one of those flack jackets the entire season.  This will be an annoying story about how he either is winning despite the injury or is losing with the injury and should be subbed out.  It's just the way things go with this stuff…very aggravating.  


Hope your day is better than mine!

And this one too - 

Happy Watching!!!

Thanks to Rachel for the new grilled cheese pics!  

USA Barely Beats Puerto Rico! (High Fives) & 1 QB Battle Gets Settled

We Beat Puerto Rico in Basketball!!

Welcome to Saturday!  Beating Puerto Rico is not as hard as it sounds...wait, it doesn't sound hard at all (we won 112 to 86).  (Notice the sick rat tail/moo-lay type thing going on in that pic above.)  It was an exhibition game so it was really about just giving Puerto Ricans a reason to head over to Madison Square Garden last night to generate some revenue, but the PR team does have some solid talent.  However, when looking at games like this I can't help but wonder...Puerto Rico is an island (that the USA kinda, sorta owns) with a total population of just under 4 million people.  The great state of New Jersey has 8 million peeps.  Not to draw comparisons but do we really need to send the whole USA team to fend off Puerto Rico?  Maybe we scale it back for these games and only start guys from say states with a combined population.  North Dakota has 732K souls under its jurisdiction, Alaska has 735K peeps living in its borders and Idaho has 1.6M ladies and dudes (not to even narrow it down to basketball playing aged humans) so maybe we just put together a team from the north western parts of the US of A and see how that goes, just to keep it fair.  I think it wold be kinda nice...why overextend the team's powers when we could probably beat them with a few guys from the University of ND and a couple of potato farmers from Idaho?

Geno Smith Wins the Fake NY Jets QB Battle!

Oh Sanchez, you didn't get the starting gig in New York...oh, no...my bad...awkward, you play for the Philadelphia Eagles now.  Oh man, this is embarrassing...for me.  I...am...sorry.  I thought this was last season, where in last night's pre-season match up with the Giants Rex Ryan led you out to slaughter and even, dare I say, ended your season before it started.  Jerk.   Be that as it may, Rexy has gone with Geno Smith (your understudy) for the starting gig, at least for week 1.  Do you care really?  You're making decent dough holding Nick Foles' playbook...which in my book is not the worst thing.  Congrats to Geno, and good luck!!

English Premier League is in full swing, give it a look.  It's fine...it's on in the morning, no one will judge you!!  NBS Sports Network.

Enjoy your Saturday!

Happy Watching!!!

NFL QB Battle Run Down & Mario Balotelli is an Idiot

QB Competitions & Mario Balotelli Makes Moves

Happy Friday and welcome to the almost weekend!  A few housekeeping items to wade through before we get started, trust me…you'll be happy when it's done.  

1.  Simpsons marathon in full swing on FXX…all 522 episodes (or thereabouts) played in order…25 seasons.

2.  New York Giants versus New York Jets (game played in New Jersey) tonight…week 3 of pre-season is always the most interesting game.  Starters get some real burn.   VICK-GENO will be discussed later.  Thanks Avid Appetite for the pic shown below! The Avid Appetite! My wife likes the Giants, I am a Jets fan...my daughter is being groomed to be a Giants fan (I pushed for the Mets...inevitably 

3.  Nothing to report on the "football players getting pinched for weed" front.  The Pittsburgh RB duo of Blount and Bell are seemingly getting slaps on the wrist and will be ready for your fantasy draft.  Well, maybe there was an update…my bad.

4.  There is a dude in California growing crazy watermelons and pumpkins shaped like hearts and Frankenstein heads…it's pretty cool and thought it was worth mentioning - Nice Melons!!

Ok, time for NFL QB Battle talk!

New York Jets - Geno Smith v. Michael Vick - I really don't think there is much of a battle here but it would be nice if there were.  I am 100% not tied to Geno Smith being the #1 QB for the Jetties this year, but I feel like overall Mike Vick was brought in to back him up and just hang around in case Geno's start this year is a disaster (which it could be).  Newly acquired WR Eric Decker will help this struggling bunch…but is it enough?

Cleveland Browns - Brian Hoyer v Johnny Foosball - This one has already been decided.  Browns head coach Mike Pettine has come out with Hoyer as his week 1 starter.  I do think that this is only temporary, unless Foosball finds a way to screw it up.  The Browns stink and despite being a relatively decent QB Hoyer will take the blame when they are 2-4…Here's Johnny!!


Minnesota Vikings - Teddy Bridgewater, Christian Ponder & Matt Cassel - The Vikes are a mess.  Despite having the best running back in the game (Adrian Peterson) they seemingly can't get the other parts of their offense together…or at least together enough so that they can balance out their attack.  This one doesn't matter but I think Cassel wins out over Bridgewater.  Not really sure why Ponder has fallen out of the race but that seems to be the case.  Ponder has been pretty solid when healthy, while Cassel has been useless when a starter…go figure.  Bridgewater gets the bulk of the snaps by season's end if the Minnesota Petersons can't get a few Ws by November.


Jacksonville Jaguars - Blake Bortles v. Chad Henne - Bortles has been great so far this pre-season and is lady friend (Lindsey Duke) is very attractive, but I don't think that factors into play here.  Henne has been around the block once or thrice and I feel like the hapless Jags need/crave that stability that a Chad Henne led offensive brings (impossible not to laugh uncontrollably).  Either way, this team is not going to be good.  Zero fantasy value as well.

Oakland Raiders - Matt Schaub v. Derek Carr - no one cares.  The Raiders are miserable, key players are always injured (here's looking at you Mr. McFadden) and overall their division is a pretty darned tough one.  They could start either one of these guys and wind up with the same record, 5-11 and miss the playoffs.  Of course they will end up having a few big weeks when you pick them on your eliminator pool, thank Al Davis (shown below)…keepin' it real, real dumb.

Mario Balotelli Headed to Liverpool?

Balotelli is pretty much as crazy as Luis Suarez (the biter).  Both players are awesome forces up top but lack the mental capacity to not be annoying ungrateful bums.  Both guys make a ton of dough (technical term) to play soccer and seemingly are not able to grasp the fact that, that alone is awesome and is the goal of millions of kids around the world.  No, no…not enough for Super Mario though.  Born in Palermo, Italian national team stud…just hates playing by the rules of life.  He thinks everyone is out to get him…maybe in Italy (where he has long suffered racist attacks due to his family's African origins do they refer to him as African-Italian?, that would be funny) they are out to get him.  Otherwise, it's mostly in his head, which is why LFC is putting crazy clauses in his contract.  He goes crazy, he don't get paid...got it?  Good Luck Liverpool, I hope that this move goes tragically wrong for you.  Sorry, but I had to throw that one in there.

Then there's this to send you off to the weekend - 

Again, enjoy your weekend!!!

Happy Watching!!!

You Will Never Be This Strong + Steelers Get Arrrested

You Will Never Be This Strong & Other Stories

Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson has been declared Europe's Strongest Man for 2014.  This year's contest wrapped up last weekend and he basically destroyed the field of competitors.  Standing 6 feet and 9 inches tall and weighing in at nearly 400 pounds, he is a force to be reckoned with.  Hafþór plays Gregor Clegane in the HBO hit series Game of Thrones, his character is also known as "The Mountain" which I feel is pretty fitting.  Also, the dude's name essentially is Half Thor in English.  When shooting for the stars, having half of Thor's strength is a pretty good start.  He placed 1st in 5 out of the 7 events at the European strong man contest.  He killed the Atlas Challenge (lifting giant stone balls of varying weight and placing them on pedestals, yep sounds dumb but it is, what it is) which is basically the hardest thing a human being can do physically.  There are no handles and you can't wrap your arms fully around the object so you kinda have this awkward arm/chest muscle thing going on to hoist them off of the floor and on to the stand.  Trust me, it looks hard and is probably harder.  This dude's personal best for the bench press is 507 lbs (if you don't know what the bench press is…just look it up and/or move back to Panama or wherever it is you're from).  That's insane!  NFL lineman (the big ones) don't even really get to that level, granted they aren't paid to do it but you get the idea for comparative purposes.  

For those of you out there who were around in the late 1990's/early 2000's (assuming all of you) this name might bring back memories of late night ESPN, like 2AM EST episodes of World's Strongest Man - Magnús Ver Magnússon…you're welcome.

In other less physically impressive news, Pittsburgh Steelers running back duo of Le'Veon Bell and LeGarrette Blount were arrested yesterday afternoon for possession of you guessed it marijuana along with some unnamed chick.  Bell also got tagged with a DUI since he was the one in command of the steering wheel at the time.  I don't really know if this is news to anyone in the sports community.  I don't know these guys personally, and if anything I probably don't want to (Steelers players to a Jets fan is not great), but honestly - what's the big deal?  I wrote about Josh Gordon's situation yesterday and at the end of the day, I think these guys should just do what they want to do.  Let the team's management sort it out.  They are the ones paying these dudes…not me, not you and not The Goodell Mafia.  Let me ask you this - does it make any difference on Sunday afternoon if Bell and Blount (almost Blunt which is pretty perfect given the circumstances) smoke weed on a Wednesday afternoon?  Granted, I am not cool with the driving part of it all, but the rest of it is pretty harmless as far as I am concerned.  Now if I were their boss (which I am not), I would certainly not be over the moon about this whole thing.  BUT I do love the solidarity of this move.  It's kinda like, "what are they going to do, suspend both of us?"  Classic case of having the team's running game by the cojones!


In other much better news, Jim Kelly announced that he is cancer free.  This is great news, any time someone throws the phrase cancer free it is to be celebrated…even if he is a former Buffalo Bill and worst performer in Super Bowl history.  Good for you Jim!  The Bills need ya!

And This - 

That's about it for today!  Things are about to get heated tomorrow as I run through the NFL QB battles and who I think will/should win each one…prepare yourself!!

Happy Watching!!

SHOCKER! Josh Gordon Smokes Weed, Cares Less

Josh Gordon Didn't Give Full Effort in MNF Loss

Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon (pending suspension) apparently did not satisfy his coaches with his play during Monday night's pre-season game against the Washington Redskins.  Head coach Mike Pettine stated that the staff felt that something was lacking…the drive just wasn't there.  NEWS FLASH:  Josh Gordon has failed like 11 drug tests all for marijuana (at least from what the NFL has told us).  There is a rumor circulating the Earth that weed tends to take the edge off as well as lower your desire to really do anything.  Again, that's just a rumor.  But the effects of bongs and blunts aside, maybe he just wasn't into it because he is 99.9% certain he will be missing the 2014 season because he is a repeat offender of the NFL's substance abuse policy…just maybe.  I am not saying it's right since I believe he is still being paid to play, but I get it, I really do get it.  What I do not get is how his coaches even felt the slightest desire to play him at all.  What good comes from that?  He could get hurt and miss more time.  He could do well and just remind everyone of what they are going to miss once he gets suspended.  He could do nothing and everyone just says, what is this guy doing here in the first place?  But seriously, Josh…enough with the weed.  There'll be time enough for smokin' when the career is over.

In other football related news, the NFL geniuses have run that statistics and found…wait for this one…that the experimental longer extra point kick (being spotted at the 15 yard line as opposed to the usual 2 yard line) was missed with greater frequency!!  No way!  It's harder to make a longer kick?  Stop.  That can't be accurate.  Run the numbers again!  You ran them 6 times?  Run 'em a 7th time!!  God!  I am so tired of the number monkeys at the NFL, I always have to tell them to run the 20 times a day…frustrating and tiring.

But really?  Is the NFL surprised by the stats here?  Spotting the ball at the 2 yard line is going to be an easier kick than spotting it at the 15 yard line every day of the week. Maybe not Tuesday (no football on Tuesdays).  This is like confirming that the closer you stand to an open flame the more likely you are to set yourself on fire.  NFL you have outdone yourselves again!  The rumor is that these longer PATs are on the not so distance horizon.  Works for me, I love added drama…sucks for the kickers though.

GRILLED CHEESE SPORTS WRAP UP!

++  Nick Fairley (Detroit Lions defensive end) has been demoted from starter to second string because he got fat(ter).  Pretty sure someone should call HR on the Lions front office!

++  Brian Hoyer beats out Johnny Manziel for the starting QB gig in Cleveland…Good luck to all players!

++  Curt Schilling declares tobacco use probably contributed to his mouth cancer…Yes, I agree.

++  It's Hump Day!  Enjoy!

Happy Watching!!

Johnny Foosball & Odd Sports Injuries

Johnny Foosball & Odd Sports Injuries

It's 2 for Tuesday today and man am I excited to get to some lighter stuff after a semi-depressing Manic Monday, which will only get worse once football season starts and the Jets and Giants are racking up losses with reckless abandon (well, I hope not…but probably).

As previously mentioned at Grilled Cheese Sports and just about every other sports website, TV show, water cooler or family BBQ - Johnny Manziel has been making headlines since being drafted 22nd overall by the Cleveland Browns in this year's NFL Draft.  Whether it's doing blow in the women's room, throwing money around like it's his last day on Earf or getting silly on social media he has been a very, very busy boy.  

During last night's Monday Night Football game (pre-season so no one really watched it) the Redskins played the Browns and it apparently got a little heated…at least in Manziel's head.  During one of the plays he ended up by the Redskins sideline and for reasons only known to him, he flipped the bird to the Redskins players.

Seems he did not take too kindly to the Redskins pointing out to him that this was not college and in fact was the NFL.  Not sure why that would get you fired up…pretty sure the uniforms that everyone is wearing has the NFL logo on it.  They said that the defenses were faster than him…again, not sure why that would make him flip the bird.  Everyone's 40 yard dash time is published on some website somewhere from their NFL combine days - Combine Database.  Not a mystery that he is playing in the NFL (not college) and that the defensive players are faster than many he faced in college and probably much faster than he is…BUT here's the thing, oh wait…there isn't a thing.  Johnny Foosball is just dumb.  He is some clown who is good/great (especially at the college level) and that's about it.  I am sure he will rise to the mediocre level the Browns expect of themselves but probably nothing more.  It won't be entirely his fault, as the Browns have holes all over the field…even more so with Josh Gordon most likely out for the season after his 14th drug related infraction.  Good luck Johnny - it's going to be a rough one!

Oddly Ridiculous Sports Injuries!

I am going to make this one into a list because the hilarity doesn't really need that much color (all of which led to missing games) - 

1.  Marty Cordova - missed time due to a severe sunburn because he fell asleep in a tanning bed
2.  Wade Boggs - strained back while pulling on his cowboy boots
3.  Ricky Henderson - acquired frostbite from prolonged exposure to…you guessed it, an ice pack
4.  Matt Cain - sliced hand open while cutting crust off of sandwich, actually crust was removed…cut hand while cutting bread into triangles
5.  Sammy Sosa - pulls muscle in his back after a violent sneeze (I think it was a 'roid sneeze)
6.  Joel Zumaya - missed 3 games with an injured wrist from of all things playing Guitar Hero

That about wraps it up for today!

Was just about to sign off for the day but I figured I would drop this one on you…you're welcome! - Suarez Claims "No More Biting!"

Happy Watching!!

Let's Drink What's Under The Sink!! - A Manic Monday

Hello Everyone! 

I hope your weekend was relatively enjoyable and that the soul crushing weight of waking up on Monday morning wasn't more than you could handle…I really do hope that was the case, no really!

Aside from the usual Monday woes that go along with the first day of the work week (for most) the sports world has seen a real uptick today in depressing news.  So without further ado, let's dive right in and hopefully make ourselves feel better by comparison -

Josh Hamilton (on the bar in the image above...covered in whipped cream) of the Los Angelos Angels of Anaheim or LAAAs is depressed…again.  Hamilton has waged a well documented battle against addiction throughout much of his adult life…booze, drugs and tattoos have held his potential baseball superstar abilities in check (well maybe not the tattoos, they would hold his daycare worker potential).  He asked to be taken out of the lineup for Sunday's game to "rest his mind".  When resting one's minb, I think it is commonly referred to as taking a nap or just zoning out into space while driving down the Turnpike going 75MPH…I mean, the sleep one more.  He gets paid a ton of dough to play baseball, and at times it is completely justified but right now he is hitting .266 with a handful of homers and 35 RBIs.  That's a bad use of resources in my opinion.  Mental illness is a real issue in the world and sports stars are by no means immune to it.  You know what?  I blame the LAAAs for giving him this much money, there I said it…maybe you take a step back and say this guy can't handle that kind of pressure (as evidenced by his repeated relapses).  There is NOTHING wrong with that assessment.  Heck, maybe giving him less money makes it easier for him to deal with things.  It's like when there are less Kardashian headlines in the news, life just seems a bit rosier…the birds sing in harmony and less students are jumping off balconies during finals week - sometimes less is more!

This next story isn't quite as depressing, it's more just sad for Jamaal Charles the start running back for the Kansas City Chiefs.  As the Chiefs broke training camp this weekend, Mr. Charles decided to move his own stuff out of the dormitory the team was using for camp and well, wouldn't you know it…he walked on some grass and the curb and some how twisted his foot/ankle.  He is listed as day-to-day but man are fantasy drafters everywhere sweating it out!!  Charles is slated to be one of the top backs in the league this year but has had injuriy issues in the past…I suggest he dials up the local 2 Dudes and a Van and leave the moving to the professionals, the KC front office agrees.

Another depressing one, a real quick one - Bartolo Colon could not make his scheduled matinee start today because he is visiting his sick mother which stinks.  Carlos Torres started in his place after pitching a ton recently and did admirably well.  Then the bullpen came in and screwed it up.  Dana Eveland stunk it up, then Buddy Carlyle stunk it up (I image Buddy Carlyle being a character on a sitcom from the 1950's or early 1960's.  He is either the hapless sheriff of a backwater town or the squirrelly neighbor in a Leave It To Beaver type setting.  Then Jenrry Meija (yep, 2 Rs in Jenrry) blew it up by giving up two runs in the ninth…well guys thanks for helping out Colon in his time of need…that's just about as depressing as it gets.  Hopefully Mrs. Colon gets better, has a better chance at a turnaround than the Mets' bullpen.  It's kinda like at work, "Hey guys, I have to take care of this dentist thing tomorrow morning (tooth is literally falling out)." You get to work and the printer is on fire, your co-workers are wearing makeshift Haz-Mat suits and the dudes in the lobby are wearing camouflaged face paint.  Thanks guys, thanks a lot.

This year's US Open will not shine as brightly as it could without Rafa Nadal (notorious butt picker as evidenced above).  He will be missing the only American tennis major due to an injured right wrist.  That's fine, makes it easier for my boy Roger Federer to make moves and pick up yet another Grand Slam title (unlikely but I can hope).  The funny thing is Rafa is a lefty.  I think he should have given it a go.  Crush a few guys in the early round with one functioning wrist and see where it takes him.  Would be the stuff of legend and undoubtedly make a strong case even stronger for most dominate player of all time!  But…nope.  No dice.  Dumb!  Man this is depressing…

There you have it, take your pick of cabinet elixirs. Or maybe just wait until tomorrow, it's Tuesday and it could be better...slightly better.

Tomorrow we buck this depressing trend and will thumb through the history books for lamest sports injuries of all time!!!  Mr. Charles, you and your box of English Lit books and Method Man posters may make the list.

"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."

~ Vince Lombardi

REPORT: Notre Dame is the ONLY Football Program with D Students!

Breaking News!!  ND Admits to Having 'D' Student-Athletes!!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Wait a minute! Notre Dame has what?!  Student athletes (football players in this case) who allegedly did not turn in their own homework or take home tests?  Editor's note:  Notre Dame has not yet admitted to any wrongdoing just yet.  So the headline above is not 100% accurate but I think they will find out soon enough that these 4 dudes probably did get some help on homework and/or a take home test at some point and suspend them from starting 1 game and will get into the game on the second series.  Actually only 2 of them are starters so maybe they will suspend those other guys for a full game or two.  Either way, I will have been the first person to "know all along" that there was definitely something fishy going on with those tests results in Introduction to Volleyball and First Aid Management 101.  You heard it here first, YO!

I think those are cake pops (almost wrote poops, which would have escaped spell check) pictured above.  Anyway, here's the deal.  With any group of people there are going to be the A students, B students...right on down to the D & F students...known fact.  Heck, even groups of superheroes have 'em.  It's the X-Men have Jubilee (F)...is a little girl who shoots fireworks out of her fingers...Wolverine (A) is virtually indestructible and smokes cigars and is a lumberjack by trade.  The Justice League has Superman (A) who is well as the name leads on...is super and his nickname is The Man of Steel...while Aquaman (F) wears pajamas with fake scales on them and can talk to animals.  Cool story Aquaman...I challenge you to stop me from robbing this bank, no not that one.  The one with the fish tank in it.  Fat chance my friend!  How did it get to this?  Oh right, every team has some D's and F's in their ranks.  I have no problem with it.  Essentially there are schools who at least outwardly try to bring in both the athletically and academically gifted individuals.  I applaud this because the truth of the matter is that even if you make it to the NFL (in this case) you're probably going to have to do something afterwards to live out the rest of your days in style, unless you get some sick Bobby Bonilla type deal where you get paid forever by the Mets...bleh.

I really don't know how this will work out (well I kinda do, I stated that earlier), but in the end Notre Dame needs to remove itself from it's high horse and just come to terms with the fact that college kids cheat on tests and swap answers on homework...the facts are the facts!!

Grilled Cheese Sports Round Up Time!

++  The English Premier League kicked off this morning at 7:45AM with Manchester United taking on Swansea at Old Trafford...and with new Dutch National Team Head Coach Van Gaal at the helm, they lost 2-1 in less than dramatic fashion.  This happened much to the dismay of the Man U faithful who came out to kickoff the '14-'15 campaign in style.

++  There were 3 other home losses this morning alone meaning a lot of unhappy Brits roaming their respective city streets!!

++  And last but not least, Santonio Holmes agrees to a contract of undisclosed terms with the Chicago Bears.  Holmes was practically useless for the Jets last season and has honestly been an all or nothing type player the past few years.  At least he is someone else's problem now...no one cares really

++  Oh wait lastly, this (enjoy your Saturday!!) - 

Happy Watching!!

Hey Matt Harvey, Take It Eeeezay! & Welcome to The WEEKEND

Harvs Told by Coach Collins to Slow Down

It's Friday (almost night) and the feelins' right!  Friday is upon us and while it can be super exciting in the summer with beach, bbq, booze and bikinis in the not too distant future sometimes it helps to SLOW DOWN and make sure everything is in order first.  Does the car have gas in it?  Have I procured the necessary provisions?  Did I check the traffic report to avoid the 2 hour delay for the 1.5 hour delay (it does make a difference)?  Do I have my tan in a can ready?...for the record I do not use that.  You get the idea...it really helps to have some of this stuff prepped and ready to go for a successful weekend.  

How does this make any sense when referring to New York Mets' ace pitcher Matt Harvey's return from Tommy John surgery (October 22, 2013)?  Well, I will tell you...coach Terry Collins basically called Harvs and said (not a direct quote), "Looks pal, you are not playing in 2014.  Pump dem brakes, enjoy the sights and sounds of summer, get your stuff in line for 2015 and overall just slow down.  It is this simple, everyone loves Harvey's drive and tenacity but it doesn't mean squat to the Mets and Mets fans around the world (there's gotta be a Mets fan or two in Japan) if he doesn't come out dealing like an ace in 2015.  I really don't know why this is still a difficult concept for him to grasp.  He has been pushing and pushing to pitch in 2014 since he had the surgery last fall.  

Obviously no one really knows what Harvey is thinking because even when he leaks out middle finger flipping photos on his Twitter account (now closed, photos can be found with a quick Google search.  This blog is too classy to post that here!) he somehow seems to not have anyone's but his own best interests in mind.  What is sorta baffling about this situation is that ego and catering to the fans who fill the seats when you pitch aside is that your employer (at least publicly) has stated numerous times that they want you to slow down and be 1000% for 2015.  Maybe I missed something but is there a medal awarded for fastest recovery from TJ surgery?  Does it matter if your elbow craps out mid-season and everyone wants to lock you in a box and send it out on raft into the abyss of Mets disappointments?  I really do hope for the sake of baseball and Mets' fans Harvey does listen and Slow Down!

Grilled Cheese Sports Round Up Time!!

+  Ladies and Gentlemen, The English Premier League kicks off tomorrow morning (our time coverage starts around 7AM EST).  The slate of games is not the most exciting but just getting the season going is exciting enough.  It's going to be interesting as many of this past World Cup's stars are around.  Can Man City hang on to its title or will Arsenal, Chelsea or one of the other bigger teams wrest it away.  Could be a dark horse this year as well...but history says otherwise.

+  Pure and simple - I am in Florida, went out for dinner and drinks last night...saw 80 seconds of the Jags-Bears game...Bears looked terrible.  Blake Bortles looked pretty solid.  If bored and looking to research his story Google - bortles girlfriend.  

+  Vince Young finds a new gig working as a fundraiser for University of Texas.  Seems like a good fit aside from the seeming mental instability and the rumors that he had trouble learning the NFL playbooks...I guess the pitch is "look at what I did with little to nothing going with the mental piece/being a student of the game"..."so can you!!"  Like a weird infomercial.  Best of luck though, you were a great college player.

+  In other football related news it seems like the good ol' New York Jets have failed again.  This time in one of the more lame ways possible.  They tried to hire/entice once Fan of The Century Fireman Ed back to the stadium to lead is legendary J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! chant and FAILED!!  You see Fireman Ed said enough is enough roughly 2 years ago after the infamous Buttfumble game (if you have to ask, don't ask me).  Apparently fans thought the long time staple at Jets home games was becoming nothing more than a corporate stooge for Woody Johnson (great name!  next in line is his cousin Slippery or Aunt Anita).  Johnson owns the Jets, sorry about not stating that before.  So Fireman Ed got fed up with the abuse and now watches the games from home...presumably wearing the fireman's hat.  Anyway, seems the Jets tried/begged him to come back and give one of the much maligned franchises nothing that the fans could kinda call a tradition, outside of underachieving and Ed wasn't interested.

That my friends is all that I have for this glorious Friday afternoon.  Keep it real this weekend and don't forget to SLOW DOWN at least once in a while!!

Happy watching!!