What's Up Fall?!! - No More White Pants, Summer's Over!

Watch Out!!!

Hear that?  If you hold your head higher and cup your hand around your ear you can hear that fall is coming…fast!!  Baby time is over...less warm days and sandy toes, more work and getting in there.  Fall is coming!!

Football is starting on Thursday - Green Bay Packers vs. Seattle Seahawks.  Two very good NFC teams square off in what could be a preview of a playoff match up, blah, blah, blah…

How was everyone's Labor Day weekend?  Good?  Nice, mine was good too.  Let's get down to business -

We have a ton to cover so let's get bulleted…FAST!

++  J.J. Watt signed a massive deal with the Houston Texans…a massive deal - even for football…known for it's fake big deals (TO, Chad Ochocinco, etc) where the numbers look huge and then they cut you after 2 years.  This one has a sick amount of guaranteed dough to the tune of six years $100 million.  A quick 30 piece of that is locked in…put it in the bank.  This is one of those deals for a team with zero offense (at least in 2013) you might as well lock in the best defensive players you can, right?  He also gets another $21 million if he is on the roster at the start of 2016, which shouldn't be too hard.  Unless we get invaded by aliens…not ruling it out, but unlikely.

++  As mentioned above the NFL season starts Thursday.  Get physical.

++  The US Open is still movin' and shakin' in Queens (note butt shot above is from Wimbledon).  Martina Hingis is playing doubles (thought she was teaching yoga to dogs in Switzerland) and my main man Roger Federer is still taking care of business. I will be watching tonight/doing a fantasy football draft…if you need advice just ask.

++  Jim Irsay (pictured above & owner of the Indianapolis Colts) gets suspended for 6 games and fined half a million dollars for downing a ton of painkillers and driving around town.  I am completely down with the half a million buck fine, but what does suspending him for 6 games accomplish?  He isn't a coach or a player…if he wants to see how things are going he just pulls up ESPN.com on his iPhone and finds out.  PLUS!  He owns the team!  This is kinda like that whole Sterling/Clippers thing…he OWNS IT!  How do you say to the guy who owns the company, sorry pal you have to stay away for a month and a half?  Is it your dough on the line?  Do you have a vested interest in t-shirt sales Mr. Goodell?  I think not! Editor's note: try not to get arrested wearing that shirt...ever.

++  Kevin Durant signs $300 million (yes, that's with a million) dollar deal with Nike.  Under Armour made a bid to snatch Durant from The Swoosh but the Swoosh was not having any of that…Better luck next time UA.

++  We beat New Zealand (That's a kiwi pictured above..look it up) in basketball by 27 points. Yep, I didn't care that much either.  :)

++  This annoying Redskins name change debate is painfully dragging itself out.  Is there nothing else to talk about in the Washington sports scene?  Oh wait…the Orioles are killing it and are primed for a nice playoff run, can we focus on that for a day or two?  Does Adam Jones seem to be impressed by this Redskins thing?  No, he doesn't...

Happy Watching!!!

A Visit To The US Open & Jerry Jones Gets Douchier!!

Breaking News! Live Sports are Better Sports!!!

Happy Thursday Everyone!  After spending all of Wednesday meticulously acquiring information for this distribution channel it is with great excitement that I can bring you some insight into the excitement of the US Open currently going on now in sunny Flushing Meadows, Queens (right next to The Temple "Citi Field").  While Anna K (pictured above is long out of pro tennis, it just seemed appropriate.  The USTA complex in Queens is a real beauty and I highly recommend checking it out for yourself one day…or even today or tomorrow - the tourney runs until September 9th with the Mens Singles Finals match.  The first bunch of days (when there are the most matches) are broken down into morning (11AM start) and a night (7PM start) sessions.  I attended the night session last night, but with the insane amount of tennis going on during the morning sessions it really would be the most bang for your buck!  And…I got back to Jersey City at 1AM, on a Wednesday…well I guess it was technically Thursday at that point. 

It is a veritable bonanza for the senses!  The entrance walkway is lined with American flags and dotted with workers there who will take your picture so you can avoid that awkward selfie face -

As you walk around the areas in between the almost 20 tennis courts there are sponsored food, booze and apparel stalls everywhere.  They have a Grey Goose signature drinks stand - the big one was the Grey Goose Honey Deuce served in a commemorative mug, this gargantuan Ralph Lauren Polo tennis apparel thing, a Pat LaFreida burger stand (purveyors of fine meats in the good old NY/NJ area) and my favorite - The Heineken House a huge raised bar with flat screens, plenty of elbow room and Adirondack chairs so you can kick it while sipping ice cold Heineken from their many taps.  It's elevated perch allows you so see into 3 of the tennis courts for a nice aerial view.

And This!

The two main matches in Arthur Ashe Stadium were highlighted by a victory for Venus Williams (a crowd fave there for many years) and Stan Wawrinka (ranked #3 in this tournament).  Both won easily and due to a Maria Sharapova marathon match beforehand, did not end until around midnight. Photos below - (View of some of the other courts as you make your way up and into Ashe Stadium. Second one is Wawrinka and Belucci battling it out)

All in all a great night…that is except for the fact that I had to get on the 7 TRAIN!!  It was crowded, hot and smelled like foot going there, and was only slightly better on the way back.  BUT it was only out done by a stank ride on the steamy PATH…it smelled like what I imaged the set of Borat smelled like…donkey and despair.  But anyways, let's move on before I say something I will regret that you heard.

Jerry Jones Confirms The Cowboys Are More About Flash Than Championships!!

Ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Jones makes headlines again for something other than winning playoff games.  The other day Jones gloated in the fact that his team is the "Glitz and Glamour" of the NFL.  They recently became the only NFL team with an official luxury watch and I think an official private jet company.  Forbes recently named them the richest (worth the most) franchise in American sports.  Their net worth dwarfs that of pretty much all NHL and NBA teams, a few baseball teams are around their level and there are 2 to 3 football teams nipping at their heals (Giants, 'Skins, etc). AND as Jerry Jones the businessman, this is extremely impressive.  He is a turd but even I will give him credit for turning an already commercially successful into a money generating juggernaut.  It is even more impressive considering they have consistently underachieved the past decade or so.  Spending much and winning some…but not enough.

That about wraps it up for today!  Enjoy your Thursday nights for tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!

Happy Watching!!
(spooning grilled cheese below)

Manchester United Complete Mega Transfer Deal & Ice, Ice Baby!!

Less farting around and more productivity!

Hi Everybody!  It's Tuesday, let's celebrate with some soccer news!

Angel Di Maria (Argentine soccer player) has been purchased from Real Madrid by the Red Devils of Manchester United for a club record 

£59.7M!!  That is some serious scratch just for the right to then sign him to a long term contract.  Di Maria a world class winger will really add poise and punch for a currently punchless and directionless ManU side.  He had a very solid World Cup for Argentina back in July and was named Man Of The Match at the Champions League final, where Real Madrid took down cross town rival Ateltico Madrid.  The signing piles up the total summer transfer costs incurred by Manchester United to a whopping  £132M.  The jury is out on the productiveness of the signings (the EPL season is only 2 games old for the squad) but I feel like it will not be enough to get them back to where they want to be (on top of the EPL table).  They missed out on a ton of top notch talent this summer with most of it either resigning with their current club or heading to the "new" Super Powers, Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid and Barcelona.  I am not saying that they haven't been good in the past but now they are all drawing THE top talent.  Toss in the top English and German clubs and someone is bound to get boxed out.  The REST of the soccer world does not operate with the high level of socialism found in our MLS.  **I am looking right at you New England Revolution and this pathetic "lottery" for Jermaine Jones**

Moving right along - I was called upon to do the  Ice Bucket Challenge, kinda nailed it...a big ol' bowl of frosty ice water...which was welcomed given that it is in the mid 80's in Jersey City and the more important part is that my dad, mom and brother were nominated for the challenge.  I am sure it will be great to see their interpretations of the challenge!  This charitable endeavor goes to raise money for curing ALS aka Lou Gehrig's Disease.  I have always found him to be a fascinating figure in baseball history despite being a life long New York Yankee.  He was nicknamed the Iron Horse for having played in 2130 consecutive games in the majors, a record since broken by Cal Ripken Jr.  Not to take anything away from Ripken, but when comparing Gehrig's career statistics to his, the only way Gehrig's playing were cut short was due to this debilitating disease.  The Iron Horse was a lifetime .340 hitter with 493 HRs and 1995 RBIs compared to Ripken's .276/431/1695 stat line.  Again, it takes a great player to play this long and for this many consecutive games but as evidenced by his stats, Lou Gehrig was not slowing down any time soon if not for getting ALS.  I am reminded of a post I put up last week or the week prior about silly sports injuries and the reasons some guys missed playing time.  It would have been interesting if fantasy baseball were around in 1939 and the little injury note icon popped up next to Gehrig's name in your lineup.  And you're like WHAT?  He can't be injured...and the note just simply says - "considers self world's luckiest man, potentially out for season because he's slowly dying."  Gehrig died 2 years later.  Let's find a cure!!

Also - I am matching my ALS donation with a donation to The Water Project they help people (kids, moms, dads and everyone else) who do not have easy access to potable water.  There are nearly 1 billion people like this around the world.  That's not fair and we need to help.

Keep it real my friends, and Dad, Mom and Steve you are on the clock!!!!

Happy Watching!!!

Reporting to you from the US Open tomorrow - will be a good one!

Let's Drink What's Under The Sink!! - A Manic Monday

Hello Everyone! 

I hope your weekend was relatively enjoyable and that the soul crushing weight of waking up on Monday morning wasn't more than you could handle…I really do hope that was the case, no really!

Aside from the usual Monday woes that go along with the first day of the work week (for most) the sports world has seen a real uptick today in depressing news.  So without further ado, let's dive right in and hopefully make ourselves feel better by comparison -

Josh Hamilton (on the bar in the image above...covered in whipped cream) of the Los Angelos Angels of Anaheim or LAAAs is depressed…again.  Hamilton has waged a well documented battle against addiction throughout much of his adult life…booze, drugs and tattoos have held his potential baseball superstar abilities in check (well maybe not the tattoos, they would hold his daycare worker potential).  He asked to be taken out of the lineup for Sunday's game to "rest his mind".  When resting one's minb, I think it is commonly referred to as taking a nap or just zoning out into space while driving down the Turnpike going 75MPH…I mean, the sleep one more.  He gets paid a ton of dough to play baseball, and at times it is completely justified but right now he is hitting .266 with a handful of homers and 35 RBIs.  That's a bad use of resources in my opinion.  Mental illness is a real issue in the world and sports stars are by no means immune to it.  You know what?  I blame the LAAAs for giving him this much money, there I said it…maybe you take a step back and say this guy can't handle that kind of pressure (as evidenced by his repeated relapses).  There is NOTHING wrong with that assessment.  Heck, maybe giving him less money makes it easier for him to deal with things.  It's like when there are less Kardashian headlines in the news, life just seems a bit rosier…the birds sing in harmony and less students are jumping off balconies during finals week - sometimes less is more!

This next story isn't quite as depressing, it's more just sad for Jamaal Charles the start running back for the Kansas City Chiefs.  As the Chiefs broke training camp this weekend, Mr. Charles decided to move his own stuff out of the dormitory the team was using for camp and well, wouldn't you know it…he walked on some grass and the curb and some how twisted his foot/ankle.  He is listed as day-to-day but man are fantasy drafters everywhere sweating it out!!  Charles is slated to be one of the top backs in the league this year but has had injuriy issues in the past…I suggest he dials up the local 2 Dudes and a Van and leave the moving to the professionals, the KC front office agrees.

Another depressing one, a real quick one - Bartolo Colon could not make his scheduled matinee start today because he is visiting his sick mother which stinks.  Carlos Torres started in his place after pitching a ton recently and did admirably well.  Then the bullpen came in and screwed it up.  Dana Eveland stunk it up, then Buddy Carlyle stunk it up (I image Buddy Carlyle being a character on a sitcom from the 1950's or early 1960's.  He is either the hapless sheriff of a backwater town or the squirrelly neighbor in a Leave It To Beaver type setting.  Then Jenrry Meija (yep, 2 Rs in Jenrry) blew it up by giving up two runs in the ninth…well guys thanks for helping out Colon in his time of need…that's just about as depressing as it gets.  Hopefully Mrs. Colon gets better, has a better chance at a turnaround than the Mets' bullpen.  It's kinda like at work, "Hey guys, I have to take care of this dentist thing tomorrow morning (tooth is literally falling out)." You get to work and the printer is on fire, your co-workers are wearing makeshift Haz-Mat suits and the dudes in the lobby are wearing camouflaged face paint.  Thanks guys, thanks a lot.

This year's US Open will not shine as brightly as it could without Rafa Nadal (notorious butt picker as evidenced above).  He will be missing the only American tennis major due to an injured right wrist.  That's fine, makes it easier for my boy Roger Federer to make moves and pick up yet another Grand Slam title (unlikely but I can hope).  The funny thing is Rafa is a lefty.  I think he should have given it a go.  Crush a few guys in the early round with one functioning wrist and see where it takes him.  Would be the stuff of legend and undoubtedly make a strong case even stronger for most dominate player of all time!  But…nope.  No dice.  Dumb!  Man this is depressing…

There you have it, take your pick of cabinet elixirs. Or maybe just wait until tomorrow, it's Tuesday and it could be better...slightly better.

Tomorrow we buck this depressing trend and will thumb through the history books for lamest sports injuries of all time!!!  Mr. Charles, you and your box of English Lit books and Method Man posters may make the list.

"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."

~ Vince Lombardi