Dickey In A Box, BBW Pajama Party, Eaton Disorder & Other Hilarious Fantasy Baseball Names (Part 1)

As the line goes, "what's in a name?"

When it comes to the realm of fantasy sports sometimes it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you've named your team. Obviously it's much better when you're winning but not everyone gets to win, but if you lose with a solid and funny fantasy team name you at least get a laugh every time you log in and at the very least you get your team name worked into blogs like mine and maybe, just maybe if you have a good commissioner he/she gives you credit for it when writing his weekly/monthly wrap ups.

I am breaking this segment down into two parts.  The first part is me putting out some of my own originals and a few Internet sources with tons of clever (and not so clever) fantasy baseball team names.  What I want is to get some feedback from anyone who reads this post on which names they think are the craftiest and I will use it next season for one of my closely followed, hotly contested money leagues!

Here is what I have used in the past - 

• The Kim Jung Il-est (after now deceased North Korean dictator, pictured above)  I used the picture of him from Team America - World Police as my team logo (also very important)
• Robotic Greatness (team logo was Bender from Futurama)
• BBW Pajama Party because how many great photos of plus-sized women in their pajamas are on the Internet?  The answer:  a lot
• Rounding Terd I figured why not get a poop joke in there without having Yahoo! suspend my account, and they can too...jerks.  Team logo a base with some mud on it (thanks Internet)
• Albino Squirrel we at least one running around the RPI campus and I play in a league with guys mostly from RPI, and the team logo is a creepy looking all white squirrel - Take that my week 17 opponent!!

• Jersey City Mayo Mafia (actually for fantasy football but doesn't matter) This came out of a work lunch order where I added mayonnaise to a sandwich with Italian deli meats.  I was hounded/belittled for it for a few weeks.  I still don't get it, but it was from mostly Italians...so I guess they know best how to coats their meats.

Here are some pretty funny references with other names like Dickey in a Box (SNL reference to R.A. Dickey) and Puigs in a Blanket (Yasiel Puig reference and a hot dog reference, pretty sweet) - 

• http://www.fantasybaseballnames.com/
• http://theframjak.hubpages.com/hub/fun-fantasy-baseball-team-name
• https://www.fanduel.com/insider/2013/01/28/30-funny-fantasy-baseball-team-names-for-2013/

Enjoy the links, laugh at work today and think of something creative (doesn't really have to be baseball related)  and comment back with your favorites!  I'll grab one and make it my own for next season.

Have a great Thursday!

Happy Watching!

-Shaun

MLB Trade Deadline is Approaching, Call Your Agent and Stop Whining!!

The MLB Trade Deadline is coming up this Thursday!

Welcome to Tuesday!!!

The trade deadline has been a great time in baseball history for some franchises, making sick deals right at the end to prepare for that playoff run.  While other franchises, it's a way to sell away young talent for underachieving bloated contracts.  It works this way both in fantasy baseball and in real baseball.  I can't tell you how many times I was either a seller or buyer heading into the fantasy baseball trade deadline (which varies based on the league) and seemingly always found the short end of the deal.  BUT I guess that is what comes from looking at baseball talent/transactions from the angle of a Mets fan.  It's funny, it's not fun (Howard Stern Show reference for those interested).  But what I have been thinking about more frequently this time around the deadline is what if the rest of us non-professional sports playing folk were to be subjected to a trade deadline.  Who's a seller and who's a buyer?  I for one am I buyer.  Just hear me out....

Ok, so you have been working at the same company for a couple of years, doing your thing...kicking butt, taking names...making moves.  Rising through the ranks and honestly probably posing threats to upper management.  You sign a deal like this - X number of years for Y number of clams.  You're locked in for say 4 years...fine no big deal.  You like working there, you are pretty cool with the group working there and the chick who works the coffee shop around the corner kinda knows your name and doesn't charge you the full amount for a 20 oz coffee every time you walk in at 7AM...which is nice.  

You're in year 2 of the 4 year deal, and let's just say Evil Bank, Globo Gym or wherever it is that work starts to well come undone at the seams.  The managers above and below you start getting itchy about golden parachutes and are constantly checking their 401Ks on Vanguard.com.  You realize this is not going to end well.  You call in your agent who (which this is how life should really work) sits done with your immediate manager and has a real heart-to-heart (I think that's how it's spelled) about your future, the way in which you'll be compensated in the future, blah blah blah.  This guy is a shark, and honestly he doesn't give a (insert expletive statement here) about Company XYZ.  He is there to cut them to pieces, get you the most money you can and subsequently he can and move on to sushi, sake and a good laugh.  *about those jerks*

Basically, the immediate manager at Company XYZ says, ok Larry (let's call the agent Larry, I kinda like a Larry.  Short for Lawrence (very regal) but chooses Larry...He is trying to get it done)) we are not able to continue paying your client (insert you here) and we think it's best that we trade him to Company ABC for a pair of interns and a copy room guy to be named later.  If your client (you) proves his contract is worth it they can pick up the team option for 2016 and 2017...if not you're on your own.  How does that sound?  Your agent says that's fine...under two conditions - the rest of season's salary will be paid up front (the dollars are worth more today than they will be tomorrow) and schedule 3 bobble head days centered on me, and not those crappy minor league level ones.

You shake hands, you are moving on with contract in tack, the rest of the year's worth of salary paid up front and you still get to get physical at your new team (company) where of course you will kill it and get a new big contract...Obviously.  Sick bobble heads and hazing the new interns before you leave is an added bonus.  Doesn't that make more sense than, your company goes semi-under, your skills are deemed worthless in the eyes of a worthless management crew and you are now left scrambling for a team to contribute to?  This is the MLB trade deadline and how things work...we should apply this to all aspects of life.

Whew, that was far too long winded but I felt like it was relevant given the time in sports.

Let's now look at the current trade deadline rumors - 

1.  Matt Kemp for Jon Lester straight (the what?) up...I don't get it.  Kemp has not been the same and Lester has beaten cancer and is a 3 time All-Star, 2 time WS winner and owns 1 career no-hitter.  Kemp is not bad but I think injuries and a lackluster few years outside of his monster 2011, he has been good but not great.  They are just about the same age Lester (30) and Kemp (29), but I think Lester provides more value overall.  20-20 outfielders are around, aces are not.  Thoughts?

2.  AJ Burnett to the Pirates for random schmo and how much the Phillies get to pay of AJ's salary.  I think AJ Burnett is awesome.  He really has done a great job of pitching in the majors the last bunch of years...as long as it's not in New York.  His strikeout rate is solid, he throws strikes and really cuts down NL lineups.  The Pirates were smart to not over pay for him in this past off-season and honestly, if they get him for the right price, it's a big win.  Phillies management must be kicking themselves this year...and last and the year before than...and next year...

3.  David Price goes no where.  I would put $50 on it.  He goes no where.  Would love to be proven wrong and he goes to the Mets, but I doubt it.  Bank on that my friends! Don't do this - 

4.  I really don't know.  There are usually a number of odd salary dump deals and random veteran deals (AKA the Marlon Byrd deal last year to the Pirates) that kinda make sense but no one really cares about...well not that many people.

It's going to be a fun filled next few days my friends, let's see where this goes (hint - it may go nowhere at all)!  

Happy Watching!
-Shaun

I Don't Like The Redskins, Maybe This Guy Likes Them Too Much...

For the record, I am sure that Charlie White (Washington Redskins fan) is a very nice man (I of course do not know this to be certain), but in my little world he is probably just an obsessive fan looking to connect with his favorite team.  But does tattooing the names of 22 other dudes on your arm(s) really make you a better fan?  Do you really feel more connected to them because they signed your flesh and now Snake or Jesse or Larry at the corner tattoo parlor has inked them into permanency on your body?  Does any of this sound like a god idea?  No, no it doesn't...and here's why - 

If you take any Super Bowl winning team over the last few years (and there have been some great ones) do you really want the 19th best player or 21st best player on the (starting squad in July) tattooed on your body?  Let's cut to the scene at work, bar, family picnic or local convenience store...dialog ensues - 

Charlie White (CW) - Hey man, you see that sick end to the 'Skins game last night?
Anyone on Earth (AOE) - Yeah that was pretty nice how RG III tossed found DeSean in the corner of the endzone on that fade route.
CW - Yeah, well you didn't see it as well as I did because I got DJ and RG III's names tattooed on my arm!! What, what!!!
AOE - No I am pretty sure my television set was showing the game as clearly as your's was.  In fact do you have HD or are rocking the tube TV?
CW - Whoa, slow down my friend.  I got HD, you don't even know about!  Jackson and RG III for life son!  You don't even know!!
AOE - Nope, I do know.  Congrats on the HD TV and wait who else is tattooed on your arms?  What the heck is that scramble on your upper arm?  Kory who?
CW - That's Kory Lichtensteiger.  If you can't keep it real, then you can't wear that burgundy uni!
AOE - I don't think it's a uniform if it's not worn by a player...I think at that point it's just a shirt.
CW - Whatever dude, that just how I roll.  It's all or nothing!  I don't care, I just gotta do me.
AOE - But it's only July.  What if PLAYER XYZ (won't name any players for fear of giving anyone bad juju) gets hurt and he never plays for the Redskins this season?
CW - This conversation is over.  I'm done man.  

It's funny because I think most of us (myself way, way included) get kind of caught up in this fandom with jerseys, soaring ticket prices, who we root for and for some people it's almost as important to determine who we hate and root against at all costs.  You hear it all the time with people fighting in the stands and parking lots and essentially driving people away from the games in general.  Honestly, what's worth more to you?  Go to the game, listen to the drunk fan behind you for 3 hours or watch it on the couch and have a full fridge of beer and snacks and a clean working toilet within 30 feet?  I am not advocating for people not going to games, because seeing games in the stadium live is magical, it really is.  All I am saying is that maybe, just maybe (thanks Louis C.K.) we take it one to maybe two notches down on the craziness scale when we watch sports.  Just enjoy yourself....and don't tattoo random dudes names on your arm.  Buy a t-shirt, drink a beer, eat a hot dog and have a good time.  

For further reading - http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/11272853/washington-redskins-fan-wants-tattoos-all-22-starters-signatures (Thanks ESPN.com)

Let's end this weekend like we started it.  Like a bunch of bosses just running out the clock in the 4th quarter up 15 points....waiting to claim our prize.  Monday awaits.

ALSO!!! - We are heading into the fantasy sports sweet spot.  Fantasy Baseball playoffs and Fantasy Football drafts.  If anyone out there has something to throw out for tips, trade offers, questions or just a funny story about playing fantasy sports, I would love to hear it.  Let's see what you have to offer!

Happy watching!
-Shaun

Last Time I Will Bother You Today

Just thought you might like this...'cause it's pretty funny.  Not a huge fan of Frank Caliendo but this is pretty good. - http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=11257156 - Thanks to ESPN.com

Happy watching!!
-Shaun

Johnny Manziel Repents & A Quick Look at The 4-6-3 DP

Johnny Manziel Repents & A Quick Look at The 6-4-3 DP

Welcome to Saturday! It's so nice to see, and not a minute too soon.  You feel like a summertime shady place, a warm embrace and...well that is about as far as I can get it.  Finding your missing shoe lace?  In times of need, seeing a friendly face?  Wait, that last one wasn't that bad...put that one at the end.  Ok, so Saturdays are about to ramp up - NCAA Football (Rutgers' first season in the BIG14, it's dumb to call it the BIG10 there are 14 teams in it) and the beginning of the Barclay's English Premier League (EPL) season.  Soccer doesn't end with the World Cup, it only gets feistier because everyone is playing for lands, titles and money. (bad Braveheart reference).  Let;s dive into it and see what's going on in the world of sports this Saturday.

1.  "Johnny Football" Johnny Manziel has been a naughty boy (again) and was photographed rolling up a $20 bill in a bathroom in Las Vegas.  I assume it was to make it fit as efficiently as possible into the bathroom attendant's pocket.  More space equals more money, and Johnny can avoid to slip the bathroom attendant a crispy Andrew Jackson (is it ever all about the Jacksons?  Maybe that one time they had that E! True Hollywood story about Tito and Jermaine).  BUT the Cleveland Browns organization, who drafted him this past April, did not think he was being a good tipper and a model newly minted millionaire...oh no!  They took this photo to mean that he was crushing copious amounts of cocaine into his face with this rolled up twenty dollar bill.  As far as I know, there is no evidence either way (should have been a lawyer), it's just all about how you look at it. The old adage is that a picture is worth a thousand words.  Maybe I am wrong here and probably so...Johnny has reportedly apologized for "rookie mistakes".  Is he already paving the way for when he reads the defense wrong and fires a sick pass into the waiting arms of the free safety for a pick 6?  I hope not!  Come on Johnny - Cleveland needs you...a lot.

2.  6-4-3 Double Play - for those of you who do not know what this means, it is when a batter in baseball hits a ground ball in the infield (with a runner on first) that is then fielded by the shortstop (6), thrown to the second baseman (4) who gets a force out at second and then fires the ball over to the first baseman (3) to get the batter out at first.  When executed properly it is majestic, the perfect combination executing what you practice and finely honed individual skills.  One of the best things about this play is that more often than not the most grateful player after the aforementioned play is over is the pitcher (1).  He may have walked the player on first or given up a sharply hit ball up the middle and feels like garbage about either play.  He is relieved to have the bases cleaned up and loves his infielders for it.  On the other hand, the manager of the other team is far from happy and doesn't give a damn about how flawlessly the second baseman turned on a dime and fired a strike to the first baseman.  He just fired his chaw at the batboy and headed into the clubhouse for a breather.

What am I getting at?  Good question - The board who oversees the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame has announced that they will reduce the number of years of ballot eligibility from 15 to 10.  While this seems to the casual follower of baseball to be not a big deal...that whole do your business in the pot or get off thing, what it really means is that players who enjoyed the Steroid Era or JUICE BALL, now have less time to politic and rework their image in the public's eye (I'm looking at you Mr. McGwire and your batting coach gig).  The thing is 10 years is a ton of time to get inducted into the Hall of Fame anyway. It shouldn't take the Baseball Writer's Association of America 10 years to figure out if you are "Hall-worthy" or not.  Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa and Roger Clemens you have been put on notice and it doesn't look good.  Not to belabor the point, but the Hall of Fame inductee with the highest voter approval rating...not Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Hank Aaron or Cal Ripken Jr...nope Tom "Tom Terrific" Seaver.  Yep, you got it.  Deal with it.  

Moving along as this is getting quite long winded, let's wrap up what's new in the 'hood.

Mets - win 3-2 over Brew Crew.  Yanks - win 6-4 over Bluebirds.  Both play today at 7PM and 1PM respectively.  Jake Peavy to the Giants (making that playoff push I guess).  Red Bulls play Arsenal FC tonight at 5PM in Harrison New Jersey - Get out there if you can!  See the RBs and some of the EPL's greats.  Outside of that, enjoy the summer Saturday and keep it real.

Happy Watching!

-Shaun

You Threw It Where? And Other Friday Vittles

Good afternoon my friends!

Did you hear that? Wait, stop moving...stop breathing (your mouth-breathing might scare it away), it kinda smells like it...stop moving!  Yep, if you look (slowly) around the corner, it's the weekend.  Don't you dare scare it away or I will find you.

Today is Friday and I will be mixing in some more links to very interesting and cool sports stories so that you can not only read about them but view what I am talking about (with my commentary of course.)

1.  I am a big fan of the Howard Stern Show.  I have listened to him for a long time and find the format of the show entertaining and creative.  The production manager Gary Dell'Abate (Dell-Ah-Bah-Tay) who is both an instrumental part of the show's production and a target for ridicule time and time again has been noted for one of the worst opening pitches in baseball history (this is a known fact...like gravity)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfLIyT8HExY I saved you the hassle of having to watch a Domino's Pizza commercial on MLB.com, jerks.  Anyway, it's fantastic.  If you didn't know about it, now you do...you're welcome.  BUT WAIT!!! relax Gary, it's fine, really it's fine...because (also at a Mets game, pattern developing...Mr. 50 Cent got a little wild with his first pitch as well) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83FHj53QBHY Not a good throw and made more awkward by the lefty-ness of it all (sorry southpaws).  The thing is, and this is what I love about the Howard Stern Show is that you're only as ridiculous or on the hot seat as you can be for that moment.  They cast such a wide net that you can feel safe letting yourself take some criticism because it'll be on some tomorrow, and that's the best.  Keep it light.

2.  (This happened Thursdsy night)  You know it's bad when a play in sports makes it to CNBC and it's not curling (they love curling coverage and so do I).  But this one made it on to their mid-morning coverage and was pretty special.  It involved Ryan Raburn (Detroit Tigers OF/INF) figuring out how to get the baseball back into the infield as quickly as possible after a base hit down the LF line. Just watch, it explains itself - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnm9l54KWjw It's not pretty, but it gets worse - http://deadspin.com/5796016/heres-your-mlb-play-of-the-season-as-ryan-raburn-assists-a-home-run So there's that too.  I am sorry to say this but maybe, just maybe he is some how involved in a point shaving/baseball reverse version of that.  (Thanks to YouTube and Deadspin for those links.)  And I really do think Ryan Raburn just got the bad end of two very unfortunate plays.  You don't make it to the major league in any sports and not know how to play...it's just sometimes...it seems like you don't.  Ryan Raburn has played 9 years in major league baseball = not too shabby.

3.  Before I get into other things there is one more link and then I'm done - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaYuxTj4yh4 OK, so the quality is toilet and I am pretty sure the telecast was hard to hear, but hey that's Mariah Carey throwing out a first pitch in high heels and a very, very shiny jacket. It is what it is.

4.  On to more local sports, today as was brought to the forefront of my brain by my fellow Mets fan Ed - the Good Ol' Mets are possibly thinking about putting in a referendum to the Wilpons to have the GM think about pursuing, if they can find the dough and scour the farm system (which they can) for Colorado Rockies SS Troy Tulowitzki.  He is a phenomenal player when healthy but that's just it, how do you gauge how healthy an injury prone player can be?  I think that this calls for replacing all human baseball players with robots.  It makes all the sense in the world.  Broken down half way through the contract?  Wrench, oil and maybe a little side action and the robot is back. Done!  This whole human thing is kinda looking silly.  My advice to the Mets don't leverage the farm, you don't want it to be a let down. Last link (I think it works here) - http://www.cc.com/video-clips/aot4gb/futurama-bean-machine apologies for the commerical beforehand but I couldn't another link.  

That's about I have for today.  If you are still reading and you have any great nicknames you have for sports players or celebrities, I would like to start a contest for who have the best.  Doesn't have to be dirty in nature (yes there are a lot of Sanchez's out there) but the more creative the better.  Not everyone is named Jerricho "Cotch Man Doodle" Cotchery.

Have a great weekend and...

Happy Watching!

-Shaun

Beat Up The Beat!!

Hey Everybody!  I hope you're making your way closer to Friday…

Today's theme is going to be "Beat up the Beat"!!  Not sure if everyone remembers that from the MTV smash hit The Jersey Shore, but I sure do.  Lovin' Jerz and reppin' the Shore, no doubt son.  Basically when the gang would go out clubbing looking for chicks that were DTF they would pull out a few dance moves (most notably The Fist Pump) and exclaim that they wanted/needed to beat up the beat.  Well, I can't say that I will be doling out advice on dance moves…that's more a Cosmo or Teen Vogue thing and I don't want to steal their thunder, no sir.  No - instead today it will be a beat down on the POLICE BEAT going around the sports world today.  So here we go!

1.  One of the bigger collapses in a Major League Baseball career was carried out by one Chuck Knoblauch.  For those who didn't know, he got a ridiculous case of the yips while playing for the Yankees and essentially couldn't throw a fielded groundball from the second base slot to the first baseman.  It was painful to watch and I kinda felt bad for the guy, but he played for the Yankees so I didn't mind it as much.  He was arrested for "allegedly" assaulting his wife.  The Twins (who he used to play for before went on to pinstripes) were planning a nice Chuck Knoblauch Day or something along those lines…that has been cancelled.  Come On Twins!!! They said allegedly!!

2.  This is a short one.  Ray Rice is suspended for two games this season by the Roger Goodell Mafia.  Punch your lady friend to the floor in an Atlantic City elevator and you get two days off from work.  Something seems odd here on a few levels.  If you are going to have your employer suspend you for something you did at a casino (which it looked like he gave her a good one in that elevator) then you gotta do a little more than 2 games.  What message are we sending our kids?  Especially all of the kids in the casinos!!  On the other hand, if my wife pushes me down the stairs at the mall or something, I am pretty certain that her employer doesn't send her an email saying to take two weeks off, just saying.

3.  Justin Blackmon is currently a suspended NFL wide receiver who had a fantastic college career and ultimately wound up being a top 10 (if memory serves me right) draft pick at the NFL draft.  He was you guessed it arrested today for drug possession. Guess why he is a currently suspended NFL wide receiver...nailed it, drugs.  I hate these stories I really do because addiction issues in America do not get the attention they deserve. I know we are the master's of our own lives but sometimes it's not that simple. Be that as it may, it seems like Mr. Blackmon is on a 'can't stop won't stop campaign' and honestly as the younger folk say YOLO!!!  (You only live once)  but it might be cool to live once, to 85 with a few duckets in the buckets my friend.

4.  Mets lost 9-1 to the Brew Crew, ouchie....  Yanks won 4-2 in the BX against the Texas Rangers and we are now every so closer to the trade deadline.  Tomorrow, I will give you a sweet update on trade rumors, trades that have happened and my usual 10 minute update on all the cool points in sports.

Much love my friends! It's almost Friday!

Happy Watching!

-Shaun

Bartolo Colon and Other Funny Sports Names

Hi Everyone!  

We have made it to Hump Day, let's get down to business yo.

Daytime baseball which is increasingly happening on Wednesday as opposed to the traditional getaway day on Thursday is a glorious thing.  With the widespread proliferation of the Internet (thanks Al Gore, you're the best) and smartphones (thanks Steve Jobs, you actually were one of the best) we are able to follow our favorite teams, fantasy and otherwise during the work day and really enjoy a bit of sunshine in what otherwise is a generally grey and mundane day.  Spreadsheets, annoying requests and conference calls can easily be overlooked when you can follow the box score of your fave team at 3:15PM EST.

I will illustrate how the daytime baseball situation can be phenomenal - 

1.  The aforementioned Bartolo Colon (Mets starting pitcher) who whenever I see all I can think of is that his last name in English is essentially a portion of the large intestine responsible for a lot of filtering and pushing.  Yes, I know I am disregarding the accent mark over the second "O" but still.  Either way, I love it.  Bartolo was picked up for 2 years at around $20MM, he is 41, 265lbs of ferociousness and basically throws only gas.  It's beautiful!  Sorry, it just is.  He won 18 some-odd games last year, is kinda sorta at the tail end of his career and today....and today...he took a perfect game into the 7th inning against the Seattle Mariners.  The Mets have one no-hitter (thanks Johan, much love) and zero perfect games.  It would have been glorious but it wasn't meant to be...at least not today.  Robinson "the jerk" Cano picked up a single off of Colon in the 7th.  It's fine but dumb.  He did throw a no-hitter in the minors while in the Cleveland Inidians org.  So he has that going.

2.  Moving over to a more semi-sports, semi-pop news story...does anyone in Giants nation think the signing of David Tyree is a bad idea.  The Giants franchise is known for consistency, storied playoff runs and above all...class (aside from you LT, yes I know you're a Giants god, but still...classless) - http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/eye-on-football/24633397/giants-hiring-of-former-wr-david-tyree-already-causing-controversy David Tyree hates gays.  I am not sure why, but he seemingly does.  Hates the fact that they might get married and live in his neighborhood.  He has been quoted as saying that, "same sex marriages will lead to anarchy".  Yes, hoards of gay couples will unite and instead of just enjoying their marriages will pillage and loot the local countryside like a bunch of vikings.  Makes all the sense in the world... I think the Giants need to revisit this one.

3.  Other funny sports names that I promised in the post title - NFL player Marvin McNutt, Phillies pitcher A. Bastardo, R.A. Dickey or Rob A Dickey and this guy Cheeky Cox - http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/funny-sporting-names-1.png

4.  Dinner is on it's way and I am starving.  Been trying to get in beach shape for a trip to Florida later this summer, but I am starving!  Bring on the meats and cheeses!!!

I hope you are all having a beautiful week and that if you have any questions or comments you post them in the fields provided.  

There are 3 soccer games on tonight.  Check out ESPN2 and NBC Sports.  Man City, Tottenham, Toronto, KC...my team MANU...get involved.

And as always, Happy Watching!!

-Shaun

Long Day, Only Tuesday - Pain is on the Horizon

Good evening to the insomniacs out there and good morning rest of you!  It's Tuesday night and the feeling's right for a little baseball round up.  I have been awake mostly since 4:15 this morning (not by choice) and have learned a lot about myself and early morning television programming in the process.  

The early morning is actually a great time to catch up on sports broadcasting...SportsCenter (SC) is more streamlined because they assume that if you're watching at 4:17AM that you are either getting up really early for work and don't have time for those ridiculous fluffy, sob pieces they do about the local cheerleaders who can't make the trip to "nationals" because they didn't sell enough bundt cakes...OR they assume that you have meth induced insomnia (which I do not have), but just the regular inability to sleep for more than 4 hours at a time.  What ever the reason is, I really, really enjoy this early morning SC.  The issue comes around at lunch time when you have been up since 4:15 and the only takeaway is that you really know how the Milwaukee Brewers pitching staff is sucking lately or that last night (Monday) the Yankees committed 5 errors in one game.  It's cool and all but man does it make simple tasks like working the microwave in the break room tough.  Time to give up that habit.

Let's dive in to what is new and relevant in the sports world - 

1.  This - http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/26077901/nationals-fan-shows-off-very-curly-w-beard-on-instagram  It's pretty cool and while my beloved New York Mets are fighting off the Nats for a playoff spot, how can you hate on this guy.  This exemplifies determination and fanhood about as best as you can.  And I hope he subscribes to the Movember movement which is right around the corner...my wife is cringing already. Remember this one? (2013) - 

2.  Donald Sterling backtracks again.  Doesn't want to sell the LA Clippers, hates wife (I get it), hates anyone who is black (I don't get it), and is suing anyone who has called his direct line in the past 3 years.  What is the process these days for determining insanity?  I get it that he is old...I can only imagine the stupid things I will probably think are real when I am old.  (I have watched more Scooby Doo and Spongebob Squarepants than anyone in their right mind should).  What I don't get about his whole thing is this - 1.  You seemingly hate African-Americans. 2. You are old and do not really need the money from the sale of the team.  3.  You hate African-Americans and you own a professional basketball team.  4.  I don't even know how numbers 1 and 3 coexist for this long...he has owned the team since 1981.  No one knew about this until now??

3.  This will be my last one and a quick one - the Yankees traded Yangervis Solarte for Chase Headley and $1MM.  Pretty cool if your Solarte, the Yankees are directionless without Tanaka and CC...and it won't get much better when A-Roid comes back next year and what's also pretty awesome for Solarte...well it's two fold - you got traded for a legitimate baseball player in thirdbaseman Headley but you were valued so much that the other guys threw in a cool $1MM just to make it all seem right.  That's pretty awesome.  I would love to move jobs to a different bank and the acquiring bank throws in a $1MM to make that move happen.  Good luck to all and Solarte gets to play in sunny San Diego...the home of Ron Burgundy and sunshine.

That's all I have for you tonight...the Yankees are in the 80th inning and the Mets are just getting started.  Hope you all have a great night and a happy Wednesday.

*** Sign up for updates so you don't miss a post (Rachel helped me get that part up and running)  and leave a comment or something if you have time, if not...no big. ***

Happy watching!

-Shaun

I dislike Mondays like RABIES

Monday, Monday!! 

I dislike Mondays like RABIES.  I have (for the record) never had rabies but it sounds like a disaster.  The foaming at the mouth, lunacy and worst of all the hydrophobia.  I am really not sure which part of the hydrophobia bothers me the most, the fear of drinking water or the fear of bathing.  I love a good shower and as has been the case for the last 10 or so odd years, I love drinking water.  It just feels right.  I like being hydrated and do not like feeling like a raisin.  *Wild tangent*

Let's get back to sports - a few quick pieces.

1.  Chris Snee (NYG) - retired today.  Basically this is Tommy Coughlin's SIL (son-in-law) and has been a GDB (ask me and I'll tell you).  Multiple Pro Bowls, 2 timer at that Super Bowl thing with the rings and overall has been (until injuries at the end of 2012) has been everything the Giants could have asked for when they drafted him in 2004.  And...he is originally from Edison, New Jersey which is also pretty sweet.

2.  Another random Giants note - David Wilson has been cleared for contact.  Wilson was injured last season when he took a serious shot to the head/neck and had to have a few bones in his neck glued together.  Wilson's phone call with his Mom went like this - "Hi Mom.  Yes, yes I know.  No, mom they said it would be fine.  What?  No, no, no it's more of a fusion type thing than a meld.  Yes, like sushi samba.  More sushi samba than Volcan mind meld...It's fine.  Ok mom...see you soon."  Yep, it makes about that much sense.

3.  Fantasy football is around the corner.  Don't be a baby about it.  No whining. Do the research and dominate.  You'll figure it out easier if you put in the effort.

4.  ESPN Body Issue.  Does anyone care?  I feel like every year they do this (or wait, yes technically that is why they call it the annual Body Issue of ESPN Magazine).  It's no like I really care to see what Serena Williams looks like with her hands over her boobs and a tennis head band on.  I really do not know who they are targeting with this stuff.  I really do applaud the effort...gratuitous nudity in a sports magazine is really not a bad thing.  The issue is that it's such a mishmash of bologna.  You have pages of perfectly nice ladies sorta posing for an adult magazine (but not really) and then dudes...a bunch of dudes with hairy legs, hairy chests and 18 tons of awkwardness.  Overall, I pass.

5.  I don't even know what the heck is going on here but thanks to the Associated Press, there this super cool photo of horse racing in some capacity.  And by the way, Saratoga opened this weekend.  If you haven't been there, stop being a Communist and go there.  It's pretty great.

http://espn.go.com/espn/photos/gallery/_/id/11241323/image/14/july-14-july-20-2014

Apologies for the lateness of this post.  Mondays are butt.  There I said it, and wrapped up where I started.  I will not take it back and if you have issues with my loathing of Mondays, take it up with someone else.

Happy watching!
Post a comment and win a prize. (Shameless I know but you gotta try every once in a while)

-Shaun

Welcome to The Weekend!

Quick recap on this grey Saturday morning - 

Baseball's back as I mentioned yesterday.  CC Sabathia is undergoing season ending knee surgery, see you in 2015 CC...and have a cheeseburger! You haven't been the same.  

Mets win! (8 of their last 9 games) and continue to roll towards the .500 mark.  

Yanks also win!  4-3 and are now 1 game above .500. Mediocrity reigns supreme in NY baseball this year, but sometimes you just have to be good enough to make the playoffs, right Mr. Manning?  

Rory McIlroy is shooting a sexy 11 strokes under par as the British Open (also just The Open Championship) continues today at the Royal Liverpool GC at Hoylake, England.  American golfers tend to struggle with this tournament compared to say the Masters or US Open.  Sometimes less is more (when it comes to booming drives and fairway blasts), and sometimes less is less...you can't be good at everything.

So on to something on the more serious side. This story came out months and months ago but the Minnesota Vikings finally made the decision to suspend Special Teams Coordinator Mike Priefer for homophobic remarks made towards former punter Chris Kluwe in 2012.  Two thousand and twelve!!  Why you take so long?  (I was asked this by a kid waiting in line behind me at Starbucks the other day...They ran out of Verona Blonde and I froze, I just froze.  I am sorry pal, you'll have to wait like 8 more seconds to order your 20oz Creamsicle latte with an extra 4 shots of espresso.  Give it a rest, and you're like 10, you shouldn't need coffee - go eat some Pixie Stix or something) Where was I?  Oh, man...lost track.  Oh right, Chris Kluwe, homophobic remarks and a suspended football coach.  I could not behappier with the Vikings decision to take action here.  What is however, semi-infuriating but is generally the case in sports is that the punishment does not fit the crime.  (Suarez, sorry bud I just can't let it go) The coach got suspended for 3 games without pay (which at least is something). BUT if I roll into work one day and make pretty much any comment that someone finds the least bit offensive, like say - Yo! You are a fatty or hey, lady do you think it is appropriate to put lipstick on your lips and most of your front teeth (which I may say at some point) I would be fired.  Not on the spot of course but they would call me into a room later that day and ask did you say blah, blah, blah and I would say maybe and then they would give me some stupid severance package and a firm shoving out the front door by security.  That's how it happens in the real world.  Mike Priefer - I don't know you or what you said, but have a little class and do your job and go home.

Ok - little side of things now.  Looking for a good time?  Check out the following website - http://thechive.com/ (most peeps know about it, but if you don't...it just makes life happier and provides plenty of time killing fun while in the supermarket or DMV)  You're welcome!

Saturday - here we come!  Let's play this one out and see where it goes.

Happy watching!

-Shaun

Late Friday Update, Baseball's Back and It's Better Than Ever!!

Officially - Happy Friday!

My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble

(Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)

You see him comin' better cut out on the double

(Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)

You been spreading lies that I was untrue

(Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)

So look out now cause he's comin' after you

Deal with it! - Baseball is back, after much delay!

Side note - Saturday 7PM in glorious Harrison - NY Red Bulls are taking on the San Jose Redux (Earthquakes), who names their team after a natural disaster that destroys buildings, lives and livelihoods? It just seems wildly inappropriate.  Am I wrong?

Short post just wanted to welcome "er'body in the club, back to baseball"  Ladies you may or may not see your man friends this weekend, it's been a tough stretch.  

Happy watching,

-Shaun

http://grilledcheesesports.blogspot.com/

Most Boring Day in Sports (at night)..in a while

Good evening/morning - depending on when you are reading this!  

I hope all of you are having a great week so far and that you are coping with WC withdrawal better than I am, which I am sure that you all are.  At this point, the only thing that I hated about the WC was that Suarez did not get a stiffer penalty for his third (third!!!) biting incident and now will be making more money than probably this audience combined over the next 6-9 months.  Justice?  Bleh, there is no justice in this world!

That being said, let's roll into Friday on a high note.  And by a high note, I mean that it couldn't get any lower tonight as far as the sports world goes.  Rachel and I were out for dinner with Scott, Jess, Kristin and that Ryan character who ended up walking away tonight with the winnings from the WC pool.  Which by the way, if you haven't paid me yet...please do so.  It gets itchy paying someone out when I am short someone's entry fee.  Not hating, just hasty.  All good.

Ok, getting back to the lowness of tonight's sports offering.  

1.  Baseball - All Star break...still (they come back tomorrow)

2.  ESPYs I think that was yesterday or Tuesday or Monday...don't care and don't want to care LBJ and Tony Hawk are probably still winning awards, makes no sense.  I am sure Samuel L. Jackson loves that piece because they bring him out every year to announce some award.  (Good for him, bad/indifferent for me).

3.  LBJ, 'Melo and the rest of the gang of NBA FAs have pretty much saddled up with their new overlords so there really isn't much going on from that front.

4.  The British Open, which I love (super challenging golf course that makes the best of pros seem semi-vulnerable) was played way earlier in the day....  Tigre looks good with an opening round 69 and McIlroy (yes ladies the guy who broke off his engagement after...AFTER they sent out the wedding invites) is leading with a 66.  It's fine, move on he won't be there at the end - in my opinion.  

So, you're like OK cool great bullet points jerk, so what?  I will tell you what.  The sports night was so slow that when out at dinner the tvs by the bar were playing a CFL game.  For those of you not hip to the game north of the border, the CFL stands for Canadian Football League.  The field is measured in meters as opposed to yards, the referees wear plaid jerseys and the mounted police patrol the stands handing out candy to good fans. I mean come on!  The CFL on ESPN!!! Where are we? Canada?  Bleh, this was a tough one to watch.  If I were entertaining a guest from out of town and the best we had to show on ESPN was the CFL, I think I would have just gone home and had Doug Flutie show my distant cousin around town.  

I know, it happens...we all slip from time to time, but did it really get that bad?  Bring back baseball, heck I will watch darts or bowling on TV - I've done it before and I'll do it again.

OK, enjoy your Thursday night and your Friday.  Baseball is back and it's glorious.  It's no WC but comparing everything to the WC is like comparing every other sandwich to the best grilled cheese sandwich you've ever had.  You're not going out there and saying that the grilled cheese sandwich is the best sandwich you've ever had but when you compare it to the rest of the sandwiches you've have in the past you can't say that it's not one of the best sandwiches you've eaten.

Welcome to Grilled Cheese Sports!

Happy Watching my friends,

Shaun

http://grilledcheesesports.blogspot.com